What happens when left unsupervised.

We get great ideas. Like after a bottle of wine (or three. . . ) we decided it would be awesome to roll down a hill like we're still 10. This is a picture of the hill we decided to throw ourselves down (not once. twice). Getting up to the top was quite the task being that dew had already fallen, we were in flip flops and wayyy passed intoxicated. Even drunk, I don't remember it being so painful as a kid. I also do not remember being covered in cuts, bruises and brush burns from doing this. (I look like I have been domestically abused and am still in pain, btw)

This was where we came up with the grand idea. We spent the majority of Friday night drinking wine and smoking cigarettes on top of this slab of concrete which also doubled as an ashtray. If you look at the top middle, there is another water meter. This is where I almost busted my head open on the second time down. The Judges awarded me a 8 on style and added another point for the fact my brains came so close to being artfully displayed all over this piece of very hard metal. Good times. Good times.

Saturday we spent the day sweating out all the wine we consumed as we toured the capital (which is spelled with an A, whereas the actual building is spelled with an O. This was another deep conversation we had on said concrete slab) It was 93 degrees and we decided being outside all day hungover was a good plan. This picture was taken on one of the many "We need to stop walking or I'm going to die" breaks on the stairs of the Lincoln Monument. The WW II Memorial was apparently new since the last time I had been there (it's the circular thing in front of the Washington Monument). Unfortunately there was a fence around the pond otherwise I would have been in it.

We also decided to hang out in Georgetown that night. Just an FYI: Hookah bars do not serve alcohol (Sorry if this is just news to me. Remember, I'm from the land of drive through daiquiri shops, bars never close and where alcohol roams free). That was the most painful 2.5 hours of my life. Hookah is supposed to be a relaxing fun time, but where the hell is all the fun without alcohol?! We were smoking our Mixed Berry flavored tobacco with the puff puff pass mentality but BIG puff puffs to get rid of it and journey to a place that did serve alcohol. (One of the guys we were with offered to run to the corner bar and do shots with me, but I would have felt like too much of an alcoholic- now I'm kicking myself for not) The next morning I still had a nearly full pack of cigarettes (which is completely rare) and a sore throat like I smoked a carton. Sufficed to say, Hookah will not be considered "Fun times" in my book any time soon.

I did notice DC has a plethora of acceptable looking men- this made me very happy, seeing as NYC is a drought (I know I'm going to get shit for saying that, but New York men are lacking attractive tall men, end of story). I also noticed that they all looked like they stepped out of a Gap commercial circa 1983, but I forgive them. Apparently, Georgetown is behind the times and still believes J. Crew preppy is still en vogue.

It was one of my favorite weekends thus far on our tour to visit all the cities of fun in the Northeast.

Next Stop: Boston!

What do non-smokers do on road trips?

I have no idea, nor do I care. I'm in a car and I'm smoking and we are jamming to the amazing 80s on our way to my 3rd favorite city (after NOLA and NYC)!

In the spirit of visiting our Nation's capital, I decided to be political. I would have worn my "make levees not war" shirt but I didn't think black skinny jeans would work with a brown shirt.
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this might be a bad sign.

Why is it every time I get ready to go out of town, I become my giddy goofy self again? But the rest of the time I'm a bitter annoyed human?

hmmmmmmmmmmm.

That's a good question.

money makes the world go round.

I hate being poor.
I think this is the first time in my life, it's actually effected me. (Note to parents: As much as you want to and are able to, do not spoil your children. It teaches them nothing and only delays the inevitable- a 26 year old unable to manage her money dreaming of a Prince Charming to come take care of her financially the way her parents do which is impossible.)
I know I moved to one of the most expensive cities in the country and I know I took a pay cut to get into the industry (I thought) I wanted to be in, but that still doesn't make me feel better when I have to dip into savings to pay rent this month, but I just bought more clothes I don't need, 5 books I could have checked out at the library (it was in the name of research!) and makeup that I will hardly ever wear.

And to top it all off, I am turning into a bitter old hag. UGH! Pity, party of one.

Maybe bangs will help. I think I can rock bangs :-)

These words.

This woman right here. Yea. She rocks. At concert volume.

I want to be just like her when I grow up.

That's Natasha Bedingfield, btw. I went to her concert last night solely to see The Veronicas and was blown away by all three performances (Kate Voegele was awesome, too.)

Wholey Happy

Ok so I don't get the big Whole Foods phenomenon (probably because I steer clear of anything healthy anyway) but while wandering around Union Square, I realized I needed to eat dinner (which I have been neglecting lately). So I wandered into this place and remembered someone telling me WF sells beer. Good beer. My. Favorite. Beer.

Granted, I wanted Amber, but seasonal strawberry will do. I kind of just stood in front of the 6 packs for awhile missing home and getting teary eyed. And life was peaceful for a moment. Ah.

Yes, it's that good.
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Have I mentioned I love my Daddy?

Part of our phone conversation this afternoon:

Dad: You know, I've been with your mother for more than half my life.
Me: Wow. That's a long time.
Dad: I think I deserve an award or something
Me: You shall be rewarded in heaven.
Dad: I better be or I'm gonna be some pissed off.

more research.

Since yall did so well with the first one round of research (coughnotcough) I need some more info:

please provide me with a type of boss and type of co-worker you have had to get used to (i.e. the brown-noser, the gossip, the perfectionist, etc.) within your work environment.

Thanks, much appreciated!

Welcome to Vera Bradley-ville

Is it mandatory to have a VB travel tote once you cross the state line into Connecticut? I opted against using mine and apparently that was the wrong decision.

And apparently I look friendly (or just a sucker)? I have lost count of how many times I have been approached for money, cigarettes and an excuse to tell me your life story. I almost feel like I'm back in the south.

And I survived SpaHa (that's what they are calling Spanish Harlem these days)
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To write love on her arms.

I know I am being highly prolific today, but what can I say? When inspiration hits, it hits.

A friend introduced me to this amazing non-profit that I feel needs to be shared with everyone. To write love on her arms. Please go to their site or their myspace and check them out. "It speaks volumes of hope for the discouraged"- her words not mine and I couldn't think of any other way to describe it.

I know depression and suicidal thoughts haunt some of us more than others. Most of us are lucky enough to be surrounded with family and friends who support and love us through the good and the bad, but it isn't the case for everyone. To be in such a scary place without that support- I personally cannot imagine and would not wish that on my worse enemy.

Not many people know about my past and my high school years, but they weren't pretty. I don't want to go into too much detail, but I am a recovering cutter and everyday it's hard not to pick up a razor. I spent years holding on to it, in my purse, just in case I needed (kind of like an ex-smoker has a hidden stash just in case?). Luckily, I got through it with the help of family and friends without which I don't know what I would be today. I understand, I've been there. Any help I can provide to someone in the throws of it, I would be more than willing to do and I hope you feel the same way.

Plus, the merch is super cute!

Nobody's Home
By Avril Lavigne
Best Video Codes

For research purposes only.

Please fill out the following questions and sent them to me via the comments section or email:

What was your first job out of college? Please give a brief description of your job duties, title and pay (I don't need an exact amount, but something like in the 20s, 30s, etc. would be great)

Are you in the field you studied in college? If not, why not?

Did you have a hard time adjusting to the real world vs. college life? If so, how? please explain in as much details as you would like to go into.

Have you ever had a quarterlife crisis? please describe yours. how long did it last? how did you get out of it?


Thanks so much guys! This is just for my own curiosity. I have an idea and I want to know if it's a universal thing or just me. Any help you could give would be great.

(BTW- I know there are a lot of readers out there without a blogspot account and I just wanted to let you know, you can leave comments as "Anonymous" if you ever felt like giving your opinions. Or you could just email me.)

I [heart] NY

1. I can go to any major city in the northeast for a bus fare less than $50. Next weekend my law school GBF and I will be continuing our adventures through the northeast (we have played in Baltimore and New York, our respective cities, only and we planned on traveling all over months ago, sad really) to DC next weekend (Originally we were going to play in Atlantic City, but my wardrobe isn't ready for Jersey yet)

2. New York City has the best filtration system in the country- or so I've heard. And I am a water addict, so good tap water is always a plus.

3. There is always a new fun store to go play in. I'm going to go to Soho (that's a LOT lower than 14th St., I know. I'm getting rebellious) this weekend and check out this Forever 21-esque boutique.

4. Chipotle. I know it's not a New York thing, but I can't get it in New Orleans, so I'm counting it. It's the most addicting Mexican(ish) food I've ever eaten. I will walk avenues and stand in line for this stuff, and that says something.

5. Chipotle and Bryant Park. Both are extremely close to my office and getting a steak burrito and catching up with an old friend in Bryant Park with good weather was one of the highlights of my week. I normally don't like to eat outside because I hate smelling like outside, but it was so worth it. Plus, this summer the park is having a film festival during the summer where you can watch movies in the park. That is totally amazing perfect date material.

Is it sad. . .

that I don't feel like cooking because I don't feel like washing dishes, walking to get something to eat because I'm too damn lazy or ordering in because I don't feel like having the phone to my ear, so I am eating peanut butter and crackers?

Nevermind. I just reread that sentence and answered my own question.

It's in the water.

Four- count them, FOUR- people in my office are pregnant (not to mention to various sorority sisters popping them out). And they are due around the same time. It was kind of cute when it was just one and everyone fawned over her, because she is the first of our little "work clique" to have a child and I don't know, people (especially women) get off to that shit (Ok. I will admit I did get like that once, when it was my sister). I have a feeling in a few months time, it's not going to be so cute.
1. I need to find a new job BEFORE the maternity leave kicks in because no way in hell am I dealing with that mess and
2. I need to stay clear of the goddamn water.

side note: I don't hate pregnant people or children (well. . . . yes, I do hate children, except my nieces :-) I'm just so not in the right mind to be thinking about having kids. I am not ready in any possible sense of the word, but one day when I am happily married I would love to have a baby bump and spend nine months having yet another reason why people should always dote over me and validation to have violent mood swings.

Have you ever gotten to that point in a job where. . .

it's over? You are at the end and nothing they say to you or offer you will make you want to stay? When it takes a lot of convincing on your part to actually make your body get out of bed and spend 8 hours of your day in a place you consider a little worse than Dante's Inferno?

Yea. And on top of that feeling you have a meeting in a few minutes where they are going to blow more smoke up your ass and beating around the bush of the actual issues then basically try to kiss your ass raw so you will go back to working like a slave child in a third world country and just accept it? Which by all means is going to piss you off more.

Then tomorrow you have a "team building" event at a bowling alley where you will be forced to socialize off of work time with those making your life hell? Oh Joy.

Oh Welcome to my world.

PROcrastinator

What did I do instead of picking out an outfit to work around one of these pairs of shoes?

I watched the new Tori Spelling show on Oxygen, which I am now hooked on and so ready to read her book (am I late on this trend, too? Apparently because the show is in its 3rd season and I think the book came out months ago. Darn)

Did I forget to mention I went to the Tory Burch sample sale a few weeks ago? Yea. Did I also forget to mention it would be nice to have a job that paid me enough so I could play in sample sales more often, much less the actual stores?

*sigh*

Why can't I be independently wealthy? I think I am going to demand that in my next lifetime.
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A 3 hour tour

And I have been puking my guts up the entire time. I wish it was from drinking. I just found out I apparently get seasick. This stinks.
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Go Speed Dater.

What did I do on Friday night? I went on 20 dates.
yep.

I sped dated. And when they say speed, they weren't playing around. We decided to attend the "Meet everyone in the room" event, which consists of 20 or so 3minute dates. The first half of the event, the girls stayed seated and the guys rotated. Then there was a 15 minute break for drink replenishing, snacks and mingling (I did none of the above. After about 10 dates and 2 glasses of wine, I need a cigarette or three!). The second half the girls rotated and that part sucked. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into and just hoped it was a little better than what I had seen on various TV shows/ movies.

I can safely say my friend and I were the hottest females in the room and luckily I didn't meet any of the unfortunates and socially retarded until the second half when I was completely wasted (drinking on an empty stomach while trying not to look like a lush just doesn't work- which is probably why my #1 guy didn't pick me!) which was good, because during the break I probably would have high tailed it out of there. And giving me alcohol is not always a good thing seeing as I speak my mind already, and with the help of alcohol, I really don't filter.

There were a few characters who stood out, though. The Southern Charmer who seemed too cocky for his own good, The professional who does this every weekend and the guy who I swear got speed (the quickness of the date) and speed (the drug) mixed up. There was a guy who reminded me of Mr. Big and a few that reminded me of Taj from Van Wilder.

But it was worth the experience, I suggest it to anyone wanting to have fun (taking it too seriously makes you look like a loser) and practice flirting (that was my favorite part! It felt like forever since I did that!).

I selected 6 of the 20 guys I met (which was really hard to decide on, because I kept putting "maybe" on the sheet and forgetting why. 3 minutes is just not long enough and I'll admit I was being too nice.) and I got 3 matches and I have already exchanged emails with one (who we happened to run into afterwards and saw me in the epitome of my drunkenness and he still picked me, which I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet). . . . so more later!

I can see your future

Today after hanging out with my roommate's family on the Upper West Side (there is a Crocs store! And they make heels now! You bet your ass when I get some moneys I will be buying them!) I decided to go to one of the many street fairs they have all over the city throughout the weekends (this one happened to be in midtown on 6th Ave). I wanted to get a cute and unique graduation gift for a family friend.

Anyway, I found a gift- along with a few cute things for me- and as I was walking around a lady stopped me and said something so personal about me, I froze. I looked at the booth she was standing in front of, and (of course) it was a fortune teller. I really didn't have the money for a reading and I generally don't put much faith in that (it's usually just for fun) but what she said really got to me. So I sat down and had a few more things said that was quite shocking and then I walked off, a little lightheaded and a lot motivated.

No, I'm not telling you what she said, because in all honesty, I am very insecure in what my actual dream in life is and I don't feel like hearing the criticism (especially when I get it from myself daily) but of course she also added in there when I will meet my soulmate because apparently he is looking for me, too. (I'm telling you- My Prince Charming must be too stubborn to ask for directions) (which I should meet him in about 6 weeks. . . not so bad after waiting 26 effin years!) and that I will live a long healthy life and die from natural causes (good to know! I guess I won't be quitting smoking anytime soon!) and of course the stuff general enough that anyone could apply to themselves- I am determined, stubborn and don't like people to know I'm lonely.

We'll see. . .

I [heart] NY

So in an effort to learn to love this place I am living in, instead of a weekly random thoughts entry (which I hardly ever do anymore anyway), I will do a "I [heart] NY" entry and try to think of as many things as I can about why I love it here. . . . and maybe, just maybe, it will start to feel more like a home.

So let's get started:

1. I can buy really cute clothes in random places (i.e. Port Authority, inside the subway station, street festivals, etc.) Which I totally did last night! omg. The sundresses are adorable!!

2. On that note, I can do random things like go to a Bowling Alley/ Bar/ Nightclub in the middle of Port Authority. Again, which I totally did last night. I don't know why we frequent that bowling alley so much, we never bowl.

3. I can have my groceries delivered to my apartment. which I need to order desperately. . . if I had money!

4. I can learn a different language just by opening my window and listening (in case I ever wanted to learn a different language, which I don't) (ok. this can also be a con, especially when said language speakers are speaking wayyy past my bedtime)

5. I can walk to one of the prettiest oldest parks in Manhattan, Fort Tryon Park. I will make a whole entry about this, because it was amazing.

6. It's June and I am still wearing a pashmina. Once that recockulous heat wave left, the weather went back to being gorgeous. Not so hot you want to kill yourself, but cool enough to rock a scarf and get away with it.

7. Eye Candy on the train. Granted, I personally think this city has a hot boy draught (I know many will beg to differ- but remember I don't even look at them unless they are taller than 6'2) and it's always fun to have a random attractive male riding in your subway car giving you something to look forward to when the commute is taking forever.

I know it's a short list, but I have to save some for next week!

Work it out

So I have just committed myself to a 2 year contract at a gym. And in the process realized why I have such a problem with relationship. A 2 year commitment literally scared me into a brainstorm of recockulousness.

This is going to be interesting to say the least.
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I made a funny.

LAUGH FOR THE DAY!


A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself :
Man: 'May I buy you a cocktail?'
Maxine: 'No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs.'
Man: ; 'Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?'
Maxine: 'No, they spread.'

Back to the middle

So I found out what PBR is. Finally. Its beer in a can. I would have ordered it but I would feel a little too ghetto fabulous. And this place scares me a little bit. I feel like if I go through the wrong door I will walk in on a snuff film then sold into white slavery. Not that scary hole in the wall venues freak me out, but I'm a little sorority girl all alone downtown. (Don't tell my parents)
So far Treaty of Paris is cool and now I'm waiting for The Pink Spiders and hope their sets end before the trains stop running express.

UPDATE: The Pink Spiders rocked! I loved the live version of Modern Swinger. YaY! For being adventurous! Next stop: Natasha Bedingfield, The Veronicas, Kate Voegele.

I really like small venues b\c you can hang out and talk to the guys from the previously played bands. That's always fun. But having one too many beers and nearly falling off your subway seat is not. Take it from me.
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If only I didn't wear my headphones religiously.

If you don't know about this site Overheard in New York, you betta axe somebody.
Not only does it entertain me, I hope one day to be featured on it for one of my many crackbrained comments (kinda the same idea as to why I read craigslist's missed connections).

The comments coming from the 1-train on Saturday night after many drinks downtown had me laughing so much, my sides hurt- have I mentioned I love my friend? ("Where were we earlier today? The Cloisters. Yea, sounds like an STD"- Hey, we had to entertain ourselves somehow, the train was local for the love of Christmas!)

Anyway, here are a few examples from the site:

The TV Show or the Process?
Thug #1: Yo, we're in a serious predicament!
Thug #2: Nigga, where did your foolish ass learn that shit?
Thug #1: Law and order.

--Times Square

Otherwise I'm Too Tense to Wear a Thong
Young lady suit: Hey, I just fund twenty bucks in my purse! Don't you love when that happens?
Older lady suit: Yeah, I found a Valium in my underwear drawer last week. It made my day.
Young lady suit: That's cool too...

More Like She Was Doing a Pigeon Impersonation and My Penis Happened to Be There
Girl: So she accidentally gave you head?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: I'm confused as to how this happened. Did she like sneeze and somehow her mouth ended up on your penis? I'm just having trouble with the logistics of this. I mean it must have been a pretty violent sneeze to force her head that far down. Or was it more sensual, smooth kind of sneeze...
Guy: You're a sarcastic bitch.
Girl: Yeah, but now you have STD.

--8th St

Hell just might be a little cooler.

Currently, I am in my bed with the window unit on full blast and this is where I plan to stay for a long long time. I am going to watch a movie about winter. A movie where the majority of it is in snow. Any suggestions??

It should never ever get higher than 80 degrees in New York City. This weekend was the worst to have someone in town and trying to enjoy the city. The moment I stepped out of my apartment on Saturday the humidity slapped me so hard in the face, I almost had to stop and make sure I wasn't transported to New Orleans.

And I sweat this weekend. a lot. We should all know by now that I do not do well sweating (there are only 2 acceptable times- working out or having sex). I turn into an even bitchier version of myself with the more sticky I am, the bitchier I am. It's not a pretty sight, trust me. But I was very proud of myself, I did not kill anyone or verbally attack any tourist.

It was actually a really nice weekend that was not rushed around doing annoying touristy things, but more of a relaxing fun time eating at cool restaurants (that did not cost me an arm and a leg) and hanging out in The West Village area (which I hardly ever frequent b/c I have a strict rule of not going lower than 14th St.). Maybe that had a lot to do with not getting so angry, but I definitely showered twice a day.




Dear Outside,

See you in September.

Love,
Me.

God almighty help me

Finish this drink. I don't think I can make it.

Ps- don't you love this bar\restaurant's slogan "put some south in yo' mouth"
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God almighty help me

Finish this drink. I don't think I can make it.

Ps- don't you love this bar\restaurant's slogan "put some south in yo' mouth"
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It can always be worse (or better)

It's my new game I play while smoking.

As people walk by, I think "Things could be better" (someone who is cute or is dressed cute) or "Things could be worse" (someone who is unfortunate looking or is unfortunate in the dressing themselves department)

You should try it!

Just as a FYI: It could always be worse won out this morning.

doodle art.

I have decided I am going to take all of my doodle art from all the pointless meetings I have been attending and display them on my desk. I have a good amount of pages filled with my beautiful drawings.

I will even sell them to co-workers. 50 cents each.

Although, the most recent is a bunch of tombstones with all my co-workers names on them. They think it's a little too dark and twisty for the workplace, I call it art.

Working to live

not living to work is so much fun.

I just noticed I'm (pretty much) the one in the office that takes off of work for fun things. (going to the lottery for Broadway plays, premieres. . . .and today I went to a private concert with Katy Perry at Planet Hollywood during lunch today. She is totally rocking my socks) Life is so much better when work doesn't get in the way.

I just booked 4 flights all going back to the NOLA from now until October. But don't get too excited those in the durty durty, all of those trips are for specific missions (visit my daddy, a bachelorette party, a wedding) but I will be going home for an entire EIGHT days for Christmas. Just thinking about it makes me happy.

Apparently summer in New York = obnoxious amount of concerts. I have already bought my tickets for Natasha Beddingfield/ The Veronicas/ Kate Voegele and then The Pink Spiders headlining tour. I'm eyeing tickets for the Good Charlotte/ Boys like Girls and Paramore concerts. That isn't including the 40 page list of free concerts and festivals in the recockulous amount of parks all over the five boroughs. I can't keep up and if I try I will give myself a panic attack.

Anywooooooo. . . one of my favorite people in the world will be here in less than 12 hours and I can't wait to play! Apparently I am not the only lonely lost New Orleanian soul. Adventures always ensue when we get together. The last time we were in New York together we spent a night bonding with our swollen feet in the air, chain smoking out our hotel window and bitching about the recockulousness of the size of our hotel (a closet), the amount of walking we had done and the New York attitude. He's the male version of me. What could be better?

alternative hot mess

I am the stickiest sweatiest smelliest mess you'd ever wanna see.
and you know what?

I feel the best I have in months.

I just hope I can walk tomorrow, so I can do it again.

;-)

The gym rocks my socks.

Today

is one of those days where I should have said "It was a good try, you made major effort, but for the sake of any human you come in contact with, you must crawl back into bed".
But in the real world, it just doesn't work like that.

Depression is so kicking my ass.

God wants me to stay in Brooklyn

that is the only possible answer to why the goddamn F train has not picked my ass up yet.

Someone remind me again why I live in this shitty? I remember reading an article somewhere about a Londoner who resides in NYC now and he said Londoners would never stand for waiting for over 10 minutes for a train, so why are New Yorkers ok with it?! For being so damn important, they sure forget to bitch about the fucking public transportation.

Fuck I am goddamn tired of waiting. I feel like that is the story of my life in this city. Seriously.

(Btw I wrote all that and then had time to continue to wait)

Fun observation as I waited: the guy sitting next to me pulled out 2 miller lite cans. The guy sitting next to him had a 5th of vodka and he said. "We should have a picnic".

And a crazy homeless man yelled at the conductor as she informed everyone of the service changes because she was interrupting his sleep.

And the chick sitting across from me is really ugly (and I've been drinking) ugh. Was that bitchy?
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