Wednesday, May 14, 2008

home sweet home.

Sorry, guys. I'm really tired. So tired, I don't even feel like reading my favorite blogs- much less updating my own.

I will try to blog about how fucking hot it was (I literally took a picture of my dashboard that read 95 degrees) and how I missed driving a car and how I spent everyday drunk(that's how we do it, where I'm from)and how my ego got a huge hit by a boy who told me I should not have invested so much emotion into him b/c he's krazy (WTF?! That's my line, fucker!) how some people never change no matter how much you want them to and how I scared myself out of having a meaningful visit with someone and how I miss home more than anything and am completely pissed I cannot live there.

Or how I semi-miss my long hair. But I have come to terms with the cut (it's to my shoulders and semi-Sophia Bush- looking). We all know how I feel about wedding hair (which I firmly believe everyone should get married with LONG flowing hair) and the last time I cut mine "short" (for me), I said I will continue to keep it short until I am in a meaningful relationship and as soon as we get to the 6 month mark, I would grow it out again (just in case). And seeing as I like to emotionally attach myself to unavailable men, finding the one I will spend the rest of my life with will be awhile, hence allowing me to cut my hair.

Or how I miss smoking in bars and how I think being at a different altitude effects how much I smoke (I smoked like a chimney; so much my throat is killing me). Did I mention they discontinued my brand?! (which is Camel Turkish Jade Light 100s. . . I wrote a blog about the history of how I came to smoke such a mouthful to say, but I decided not to post it) Yea. So I have 10 cartons and when those are gone I'm going to cry.

Or how much I miss my friends and my sister and brother. And how much I'm sad not to be able to see my nieces grow up. It is as plain and simple as that. I miss home, but I cannot live there because there are no opportunities. If I could be happy working for my dad and just living, I would move home in a heartbeat. I just feel like there is so much more out there for me that the city cannot offer. There will be no more life changes (i.e. moving) until I figure out for certain what I want to do. . . and I'm thinking Brooklyn Community College might have the answer (more on that later).

And since I went on and on. . . what's the point of making another one?

These pics are courtesy of Andie, my personal stylist, photographer and amazing sorority sister. There are more on her regular blog along with her 365 Blog. I'm sure I will post more of my own when I get home and have time to upload them onto my computer. This is the St. Louis Cathedral (where I will be getting married, btw) with a military happening with it as its backdrop. How gorgeous?!


Andie said...

We miss you too! but I know exactly how you feel about the lack of opportunities, etc. Hopefully things will start to change in the coming years and you will be able to come home and live your dream! :)

Thanks for the props! I really appreciate it! and i'm glad you enjoyed the photos. My favorite is still the perfume one. LOL

.Nicotine.Queen. said...

I'm giving nola 4 years to get it's shit straight- hopefully by then I won't want to move home so bad.

and I love the perfume one too! I will post as soon as I get photoshop the ginormous blemish. It takes away from how beautiful I am. LoL!

Andie said...

ha. I'll try to fix it real quick. Lemme see what I can do. :)

Shoeaddict said...

What do you do?

My heart breaks for you. I know that sounds corny but it's true. I was so sad and lonesome for LA when I lived away.

I can't wait to hear the stories.

PinkPiddyPaws said...

Hmmm... so your ciggies have become "Elaine's Sponge" from the Seinfeld episode. hee...hee.. although, I have to wonder if you will actually stand around asking yourself "Is this a ciggie worthy moment?" :)

CarmenSinCity said...

Your new haircut sounds really cute! I love the long flowy hair idea thing for a wedding though - I agree.

TTQ said...

I've seen the church and it is nothing short of amazing. I was smoking while read this post... but I'm sure your hair is glad you are out of the humidity. Nothing like leaving the house with perfect hair and then have it wilt in two hours.

.Nicotine.Queen. said...

pink- you are the 2nd person to reference Seinfeld and I think I am the only person on the planet who hasnt seen that show. But apparently, yes. My cigarettes AND my perfume have become Elaine's sponge.

I will definitely post pix of the cut when I get home.

TTQ- you are my new favorite for being a smoker! (No offense to my non-smoking favorites!)

Tequila Mockingbird said...

i dig your hair. besides, shorter hair is so much easier to take care of.

when i smoked, i smoked camel turkish jade lights too. not 100's but yeah, that's sad to hear they discontinued those. siiiigh!

Eastcoastdweller said...

Nicotine Queen, You've had quite a week. I'm sorry, too, that they've stopped making Your favorite brand.

I used to love seeing the beautiful ads for Satin cigarettes. I guess they still make those but they're almost a forgotten brand now.

Mores were big for a while too, and they had some fun, witty ads.

What made the Camel Turkish Jades so special to You?

Andie said...

hey abby, back in the day when I started smoking- i smoked Capri's.

can you picture that one? HA!

I loved me some long skinny ciggies.

Eastcoastdweller said...

Andie: Thinner than the fat cigarettes men smoke? (To borrow a line from a cheesy old Virginia Slims ad)

Slyde said...

i know what you mean... sometimes i get into a funk and just dont feel like writing for my blog, either...

it never lasts long tho..

Shoeaddict said...

I smoke. Less and less but then it will pick up again. I don't have a very great brand, though. Marlboro Light Menthol

Eastcoastdweller said...

To Shoe Addict:

Menthols have a wonderful fragrance to them, so You have nothing to apologize for!

Some people enjoy wine. Some people like artisan bread or French cheese or Impressionist paintings.

It's about time that people who enjoy smoking stopped feeling second-class. Smokers are not the devil, they are people, people who enjoy tobacco, as others enjoy the other gifts of Nature to us in their own ways.

Walking through a whiff of smoke or even spending time with smokers is not going to make me keel over dead. In fact, living a life of bitter intolerance, cutting myself off from all the wonderful people who are devotees of the golden weed, is far more likely to shorten my life.

Just my thoughts. Hope NQ doesn't mind me posting them here.