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Do I want to be a flight attendant?

That sounds like fun. A lot more fun than I'm having now AND I get to travel.

Sorry, my roommate's cousin is one for Delta and she based out of New York so she stays with us when she has lay overs and whatnot. And she told me Delta is hiring right now and is trying her damnest to get me to apply. She has really sparked my interest- I have asked her about everything I can possibly think of to deter me from this crazy thinking but nothing has worked! (I know, the smoking. but I can wear a PATCH! I wore one on the flight to London and I did fairly well, but forgot to put one on on the flight back and that was tragic.) And I could work as much as I wanted or as little. And not only would I keep my apartment here, I would be able to fly to New Orleans whenever I wanted or anywhere else my friends have decided to live. All while making money and traveling the world in between. Then in the middle of all this fun, if I wanted to go back to school for something, I could. . .and I could even cut back on my hours and fly 2 or 3 times a month to keep the travel benefits.

But is this even smart? Have I really given fashion a chance? It hasn't even been a year and I'm already bored. I hate this. I hate having to think about what I want to do for the rest of my life. What if I don't want to do anything? What if I just want to exist? I know one day I need to settle down and find some poor soul to love me and worship me and make me pop out children, but what til then? And is it so bad not to want to have to work for my entire life? Do I HAVE to have a career? What if I don't want one? All I know is sitting in an office all day and working for the man is NOT my idea of a good time. And I know you're thinking "Damn, she REALLY needs to figure out what she wants to do with her life; she's no spring chicken. I think it's time for her to figure it out" but to my defense, I didn't have the luxury of being wishy-washy about this stuff in college. I thought I knew what I wanted to be from the time I was 16. So in those 10 years, normal people are jumping back and forth, changing majors and getting to figure it out. At this rate, I MIGHT have things figured out by the time I'm 36 but I wouldn't hold my breath.

What about a stylist for a band?! How much fun! I tease my friend when he his new band goes on tour, I am coming as his stylist and I think I can rock it. All the benefits of going on tour and not even having to be talented. He thinks I'm kidding, but just you wait! (and I know it will happen again. His last band is quite popular and he was on tour with Creed for awhile)

I feel like I have made no progress in the past year to finding what I want my life to be and I feel like the little feminist in me dies a little when I say all I want to do is find someone to love me. What if I wasn't mean to try and save the world? After all , I'm just a little girl. Maybe the world doesn't need me to save it.

It's just a new a place with the same old problems. But I don't regret moving and I don't plan on leaving. As much as I hate that I'm alone, its kind of a good thing. It forces me to get to know myself better.

UGH!
Ok. Enough of this serious crap.