volunteering. it couldn't hurt?

So I have decided I have way too much free time and as my grandmother always says, an idle mind is the devil's workshop. (No, my grandmother does not say that but she does tell me when I'm getting fat and that I should be more active, same thing.) SO I have decided because my dream part-time job is not available at the moment (which is to work the merchandising booth at a Broadway play and it's off-season) and I don't really know where else I would want to work, I have decided I am going to volunteer my time. I know. It's amazing, but I don't need any comments from the peanut gallery on this one, because I'm already having a hard enough time as it is figuring out what I want to do. Yes, I am going to be picky about volunteering my time (i.e. NOT getting paid when that would be ideal) because I already cannot do what I WANT to do between the hours of 9am and 6pm- I am not about to be miserable for the rest of the time I could be sleeping or smoking.

So I have ruled out volunteering with anything that involves children, animals and old people. Sorry. I'm not even going to pretend my very limited tolerance extends that far. And I don't care about the homeless, or people with STDs/ AIDS (seriously. stop. having. sex. I've done it- you can, too!) I'm not gay, but I do support my gay friends- but not enough to volunteer, hospitals smell, don't get me started on cancer and immigrants- are you kidding me? . . . anyway. I need to figure out what I am passionate about before I jump into this.

Any ideas?

The only things I seem to be interested at the moment are things that result in
. . . ME and things that directly effect me. So- I need some help.