Monday, April 14, 2008

Negative Nancy alert.

News flash: I'm in a terrible mood. Worse than usually, mind you. I think the best thing for you is to steer clear of me today, and this has nothing to do with being a woman. And this is not going to be entertaining at all. . . in fact you might want to just skip reading this. (or skip to the bottom)

I think my job is turning me bitter. I mean, I was miserable working in a law firm, don't get me wrong, but it was a different kind of miserable. At least there I knew I was actually doing something that effected the greater good (or bad- depends on how you look at it) but it meant something, it effected people's lives. The things I did mattered there. Even if I worked for every one of the most difficult to work for attorneys in the city of New Orleans (which I did), it was a challenge. I like challenges. I like having the people I work for respect me and the people I work with respect me for being able to do it.

Does this mean I want to be a glorified secretary again? Fuck no. To be honest, I was a terrible secretary and I really dislike working for attorneys. So, what am I saying? I don't know. I think I'm still experiencing after-shock of the quarterlife crisis and I need to re-evaluate my situation again. I was tired of caring. I thought moving into such a brainless career I would be able to stop trying to care and make a difference. I thought if I suppressed it enough it would go away and I could lead a meaningless life like the majority of society and I would be ok with it.

Apparently I am not.

In a few months if things do not improve, I think I'm going to look into this lobbyist thing some more. Maybe I really will become one for Phillip Morris and I've always wanted to live in D.C., too. Who knows?

I had a really good conversation with an ex this weekend that sort of enlightened me. He mentioned that he truly believed that I was going to succeed with everything I wanted to do and he thought I was intelligent but when I got around my sorority sisters I turned into a completely different person. It was nice to hear this, along with a few other ego-boosting comments that even after 7-ish years of knowing and loving each other we still find out new things about each other. Whoever said you cannot be friends with an ex I feel sorry for. I'm still friends with the majority of mine and I love it.

Ok- We must end on a positive note.

I just found out over the weekend I will be volunteering for the Tribeca Film Festival (how amazing! I feel it in my bones its going to be a great experience. . maybe the one I've been needing?)


my BFF is coming to visit soon (he won 2 Jet Blue tickets at a raffle. . how amazing!) and I can't wait to cuddle and drive him insane with all my annoying chatter and poking!


I just got some amazing black ankle boots- totally a need for spring.



eastcoastdweller said...

Well, I didn't skip it.

If nobody ever expressed their negative feelings, we'd all go insane believing that no one else ever felt the way we did.

I've had my share of rotten jobs.

I hope things get better for You.

The Ambiguous Blob said...

How on Earth did you figure you could change your total person and stop giving a shit? Ridiculous. Now you'll just have to figure out how to channel all that caring into the fashion world. It can happen.

.Nicotine.Queen. said...

Thanks! I appareciate the insite.
It means a lot.