Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I hope you're happy.

Am I really going to be that girl that waits for his call?
Am I really going to be that girl who waits for his email?
Am I really going to be that girl who checks her Blackberry every 5 seconds?

4 years of training myself NOT to be that girl and look at me now. I've been down that road. I've taken a backseat. I've been 2nd and 3rd before and I can't do it again. Why am I grasping at the little bit of attention given and thinking that enough instead of demanding more? I cannot drive myself crazy waiting for him to recognize how amazing I am. I cannot have my life consumed by someone who doesn't appreciate me.

This is why I am so guarded.
This is why I won't let you in.

This is why I do things to purposely hurt you.
God, I need a hobby (that does NOT include reading books about knights in shining armor).


TN Girl Moving To New York City said...

Girl, it's like reading my own diary! That is me!! Don't you hate that??

Eastcoastdweller said...

Because You -- though beautiful, strong and smart -- are human.

No shame in being human. The alternative is rather depressing.