Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Things I bet you didn't know

and STILL don't want to know.

Fun Quirks and secret (that I feel like sharing) about me

1. I hate bad vibes. (Ok. before I go on, I do believe if you didnt find me crazy before, and even if you did, this is going to send you into firm-believer town) I can feel bad vibes in my home- and this is a main reason I hate for being to be in my room. Usually if someone goes into my room with these bad vibes, they leave them there and I cant go back into the room they left them in for a full few hours. I usually have to open the window, too, to get them out. I dont fully understand it, but I feel bad vibes and I hate them. This happened more in college but every now and then it will happen. I dont know. . . dont ask. Im just weird.

2. I have to have something to drink with me at all times. I forever carry mugs with me- and before I moved here I would stop at the gas station to get a fountain diet coke and carry it with me at all times. Most of the time, I never finish the drink, I just have to know that it is at my disposal.

3. I wish I was one of those people who sing in the shower and dance around their room in their underwear singing into a hair brush. I've never felt the need to do it though.

4. I hate shopping malls. No, Seriously. I don't like going to them with people and if I go Im on a mission. I mean sometimes I'll go and be there for awhile but I never go for the hell of it, I will always have a reason and a particular item in mind for buying (which doesnt mean I don't leave with a million bags of useless shit I never needed in the first place- b/c Im good for that) But anyway, all those people freak me out. I seriously get clammy and walk extremely fast through the people and I have to think happy thoughts until I get to the car.

5. On the shopping thing, for years I would not be able to go into a store without buying something- anything. I just had to buy something if I graced the store with my presence, hence the amount of useless shit, clothing with the tags still on them, shoes still in the boxes, etc. But I am getting better that this.

6. Online shopping will be the death of me. I seriously have a problem and I should have given it up for Lent.

7. I drive better drunk than sober. I perfected the art in High School, being as I was one of few friends that had a car, and I don't go out for shits and giggles, I go out to get drunk. It seriously is true. I feel safer in my car when Im drunk because Im actually paying attention to driving. And having said that, to calm everyone's nerves, I can drive until I say I cannot. Im really good about telling people when I cannot drive, but until you see me get to that point when I will pass the keys over, it always freaks the "newbies" out when I say Im fine to drive after a few drinks. But whatever. . . and BTW. . I really hate to be DD. When I lived in Natchitoches I never drove drunk b/c that's a small town and my dad doesn't know the sheriff, so I just wouldn't risk it, so I got spoiled by everyone else toting my drunk ass around and so I will rarely drive if we go out- Make that a mental memo and keep it close to your heart.

8. If I am in a car with someone and they need to stop and go into a store for one reason or another, I make them take their keys. If I go in a store and Im driving, I take mine. A girl I knew once was kidnapped, raped and shot in the head that way. Her mother went in the store, left the keys in the car and someone jumped in it and drove off. Luckily she survived but it still freaks me out.

9. As it pertains to smoking, if I put my cigarette out in an ashtray, it MUST be put out all the way. . no embers, no smoke still coming up- and I make everyone who Im with that is smoking do the same thing or I'll do it for them. As strange as it sounds, I think the smell of a still lit cigarette in an ashtray is the most disgusting smell ever. . . plus Im always afraid of something catching on fire.

10. I have an obsession with pens and notebooks. When I was younger I used to fancy myself a writer. That's what I wanted to be for a long time, but then I realized I'd be self-banished to the starving artist lifestyle, and we all know how I feel about that, so I decided to go in a different direction. So I will suffice writing a book or two after I've made money for the fun of it. Anyway, I seriously have zillions of pens. I have two shelves of notebooks that half I haven't even written in once and the rest are full. I would just always have a fear I would get a great thought or idea and not be able to write it down, so I'd buy new pens and notebooks every time I would go to the store.

11. I have an irrational fear of smelling bad. I literally carry deodorant with me at all times. I have some in my purse, in my desk at work, in my car when I owned one, etc. etc. Dont ask me where this comes from and lord help me in the Summertime in New York.

12. I personally hate to sweat. I think it is the most vile disgusting thing a human can do- for me. You can sweat like a pig for all I care, but the second I start fitzing, Im disgusted.

13. For the first time in my life, I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I consider that a failure. But I am trying to keep this self loathing in check long enough to figure out what I want to do.

14. I really believe there is a knight in shining armor out there for me and I want him to show up on my doorstep so bad I can taste it. I used to be open about my romantic notions, but I have forced myself into the closet with it because I didnt feel like it was forward thinking. But I wont do anything to be taken care of for the rest of my life.

15. I would perish without music. I am extremely dedicated to my music and sometimes songs speak to me so loudly, I physically feel pain.

16. I hate hate hate talking on the phone. And that's probably why most of the time when you call you go straight to voicemail (now, now. This isnt that true anymore. Most of the time if you go to voicemail, its because Im in the subways, but you are safe to assume 50 % of the time I am ignoring you) But when I do get in that rare mood I want to talk, if I call someone- they better answer (and 99% of the time they dont and then they call me back when I am no longer in phone-talk mood and they go straight to the vmail)

17. I wish I had a better relationship with my brother.

18. I love that Im crazy. Not certifiable crazy (although there are many who would disagree) just goofy crazy. I love doing or saying off the wall things that make people laugh or shake their heads at me. It gives me joy in life.

19. I used to love my intensity and bluntness and overwhelmingness but now Im not so sure.

20. I always new I was meant to live in New York City.

21. I have an abnormally large heart that I think I keep hidden, but too many people keep telling me they know already. Im not sure if I like people knowing.

22. The only reason why I want to date/ marry a soldier is because I believe I can love them enough to make all the bad things they've seen or done go away.

23. I am hyper sensitive about my height and my weight. Never make a crack about it (to my face or in any way I can find out about it) because that is sever.

24. I'd rather be sleeping. or smoking.

25. I seriously have no idea why people continue to stay friends with me when I know I can be a horrid person sometimes- most of the time.

26. I am jealous of all those younger than me

27. I really do think Im pretty (well, from the neck up) and I know many people think its a backwards reverse psychology thing, but it's not. And I think that is a rare thing especially for a woman.

28. I really do like being a light weight. I know Im from New Orleans and I should be able to drink anyone under the table, but I can't and I like it that way.

29. I dont think that Im as creative as I portray.

30. I love to sneeze. It's a great feeling.

31. I have a terrible case of out-of-sight; out-of-mind with just about everything. . people, clothes, shoes. . . .

32. I secretly hope every man who I have ever liked still pines for me, no matter who he is or who he is currently with.

33. It doesn't really take me that long to get ready. I can be ready in 20 minutes flat, 30-40 with a shower, but I am much too lazy and would rather get distracted.

34. I am only as ME as I am allowed to be. (i.e. insert materialistic, whiny, annoying, etc.) and trust me I will test the waters every time, but I will try not to over step.

35. I love people who call me out on my shit. It's infuriating but at the same time, I respect them so much more. I could never fall in love with someone who constantly appeased me.

And I can't go anymore. . . Im tired.


eastcoastdweller said...

"I really do think I'm pretty."

It may sound silly, but those are beautiful words.

There seems to be some unwritten law that no Woman is allowed to believe or say those words. And I hate that.

I have met very few people who I believe to be genuinely unattractive. Usually, the way they have lived their lives (selfish, cruel, slothful, bitter, cold) contributes greatly.