Saturday, March 8, 2008

1-2 Go. Ready? Break!

Ok. Seeing as everyone thinks I am this amazing outgoing entertaining person (that's also beautiful and intelligent) I've decided I am going to let you all in on a little secret.

I'm not.

Pretty good act, though. Right?!

Anyway. Im sitting here in my newly cleaned and rearranged room and I'm scared. Scared to death. For the past couple of months I've enjoyed being in my room, alone. I like being alone. I like myself. a lot. I don't, however, like things that are outside of this wonderful little world. And I have come to the conclusion this is not healthy. I am in a new city with new opportunities and a chance to make new friends and I don't want to. I want to sit in my room and read. Or watch youtube videos. Or rearrange my sock drawer- anything to allow me to stay in a room where I don't have to deal with feeling awkward. Well, I've always known it wasn't healthy but I was waiting for the perfect opportunity to break out.

And it looks like tonight is the night (that is, if this headache I have and the fact its a torrential downpour outside don't intervene). I was invited to a Housewarming party in Gramercy (which is another thing- thats 160 blocks away!! ahh!). And Im forcing myself to go (with this little sidetrack of course). I have already called my Jimney Cricket and he told me I had to go (along with making me scream I'm Hot! and mean it. Gotta love my gays!) so I'm going to suck it up and leave my comfortable bed to socialize with people I dont know.
God help me.


Eastcoastdweller said...

Well, I hope You did go, Nicotine Queen, because I stumbled upon that picture of You on Your blog last month and unless it's a Photoshop fake, You ARE beautiful. I told You that. Damn beautiful.

Intelligent? Seems a safe bet to me as well. Pay no attention to that Starbucks oracle!

Entertaining? That I wouldn't know, not knowing You outside of this blog. But I can say Your blog is tons of fun to read, so if You are anything like it in the "real world," down goes another self-misconception!

Hey, we all have shy moments. But You handled it just right, by not giving in. By going out even if You didn't want to.

My Sweetie is kind of like that - a little shy, a lot of homebody, and so am I. But we generally don't regret it when we overrule those traits and make ourselves go out.