Stitch and Bitch. Or just bitching about stitching.

I have a new project. It’s actually kind of fun. I don’t think I have had a project since I moved here. For the record, I am a professional at starting projects. Finishing them? Not so much. Exhibit A: My very large red trunk taking up space in my parents’ attic. There are supplies in that thing to start pretty much any craft project imaginable. Painting, Scrapbooking, Necklace making, wood crafting (wood crafting? yes. Wood crafting. Don’t ask). You name it- it’s in there. I haven’t had the balls to ask my parents to ship it up to me yet. Mainly because I have no room (duh!) And I know I will just add more crap to throw in it and never restart anything anyway.


So what’s this new project? I’m going to join the bandwagon and learn how to crochet ( I tried knitting and the 2 needle thing fucked me up or maybe I just didn’t get it b/c I was drinking, either way). My roommate (not Frenchie) and I went this weekend to a yarn store Soho to get supplies. Now I have all the materials. . . . and no clue what to do with them.

I am totally fucking intimidated. I will straight up admit that. How this is supposed to be a relaxing stress relieving activity is beyond me. My blood pressure skyrockets as soon as I look at a pattern. There are a lot of abbreviations on those things- it’s like a whole new language and I barely have a grasp on English.

I’m assuming these patterns are the same as sewing patterns (yes. I even took sewing classes. That lasted about 5 minutes). I need to stick with the BASIC because when the pattern says EASY, it’s anything but. (You are going to try and tell me a heart shaped purse is considered easy? I call bullshit, Lion. I call bullshit) I’m really close to calling the whole project off, and

Tonight I’m going to YouTube it, but I still don’t know if that’s going to help. I’m not a self-taught type of gal. I’d rather have a physical teacher there, so I can whine and bitch. It’s not as fun whining when you are whining to yourself and no one else gets to be annoyed.

I might have to make a trip to Barnes and Noble tonight, for this book. Happy Hooker? My Nanny is forever calling me that and she crochets, so I think it's a sign. Or I've just had too many caffeinated drinks.