Friday, February 29, 2008

You make me wanna LaLa

Could I pull this off?
I have serious envy for those of the emo/ goth/ punk. I think my fascination has a lot to do with my friend’s observation that I have a little goth and a big sorority girl living inside of me and they are constantly at battle. Generally, the sorority chick kicks the poor Goths ass but every now and then Goth girl wins a battle. I unfortunately grew out of my Goth (or the newly revamped even more derogative term emo) stage in high school but some days I wish I could pull off fishnets and black lipstick again and not feel retarded. I'm way to old to be tortured in teen angst. And now with this commercialization of it all, I could get even cuter clothes without having to make them myself. I would love to be able to spend my weekends kickin it at the mall with my boyfriend in matching chucks with matching eyeliner being emo together. Too bad I never went for the emo guys, though.
But I am guilty of laughing at the occasional emo joke. What? They’re funny! “I want an emo lawn, so it will cut itself” “What did the guy in line say to the emo? No cutting”.

Yes. They are tragic, but I am allowed to laugh. I understand their pain. I get it. I used to be one of them. But you, you are not allowed to laugh.

And speaking of the Punk Queen, I was very disappointed with my meet-n-greet in Long Island on Monday. It was recockulously unorganized, She was an hour late and I got no special treatment, except we got to meet her first. Oh! And then we were not allowed to take pictures with her (which who wants her autograph anyway? Im so upset Im very close to putting it on ebay and hoping to get 20$ for it.) To be honest, I don’t even think I saw her or said anything to her, we were rushed in and rushed out. But I do recall she looked EXTREMELY thin but I’m liking the red hair. I want her haircut.

It was a waste of 5 hours of my time and 20 of my dollars on the commute there. But I did buy hair dye and had a Molten Lava cake at Chillis- so it wasn’t a total loss.


(and a guy to lean into me like that, too.)

Thursday, February 28, 2008

When you don't wear your headphones on the train. . .

You end up talking to a crazy woman who works with mice at Columbia studying the effects of Alzheimer's but whose real passion is schizophrenia about American politics. Then you end up talking to the other crazy woman who was listening to your conversation with said crazy #1 and she doesn't speak english very well so you smile and nod.

When all you wanted to do was drunkenly indulge in your book.

Sometimes being a polite southerner is quite a curse in this city, I swear.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

State of My Sanity v. Steve Jobs: Round 3 (or 4 Im loosing count)

Dear Steve (Jobs for those who don’t know; I am now on a first name basis with him in my head),

It seems to me that you continue to find yourself at the top of my shit list. I am intrigued. Is it a nice place to be? Do you have the disillusion of getting rewarded for this? It has been proven and a known fact people go out of their way daily to stay off of that list, but you don’t seem to understand the magnitude of my wrath. I would imagine it to be more like the 7th bowel of hell rather than Disneyworld, but then again you just might be a masochist, which is something we have in common. Nonetheless, I am still puzzled as to why you want me to loathe you so much. I am trying very hard here and you leave me no choice but to bash you as the completely genius asshat that you are.

But of course I will allow kicking myself (once) for not knowing better. I should understand how your company works by now. I lucked out when you came out with the new Nano (even though you waited a good six months before coming out with the pink one which saved me the stress of trying to decide between the luscious cranberry that supports a noble cause and the typical- everything- I- own pink) and I should have known my luck would run out especially with our very reliable hit or miss history.

But dammit. I implemented amazing patience and self control, if I do say so myself, when I waited a good two months before purchasing my (still unnamed btw) Macbook. You alone have further proved my theory on instant gratification (and that only being, if I would have gotten my Mac when I wanted it the new product would have never come out and I would still be happy and not writing you, yet another, piece of hate mail- why can’t you understand! I want to worship you with a Steve Jobs Apple Shrine. I want to have your genius children- a little more than I want to bare the children of the Google creators I might add. I want to tattoo your internationally recognized icon on my forehead and scream your praises from a mountaintop. Why won’t you let me?!)

And what makes me even angrier is I just got finished transferring all my data from my PC to my Mac and got it organized. During this process, I sacrificed an entire playlist that I did not have on my computer for the greater good of the Mac. That was painful, but alas you do not care. You obviously do not have to because along with being the spawn of Satan, the caring gene is not in your DNA.

I am still confused as to whether I want to punch you or kiss you. Our relationship is the epitome of a love/hate one and I think it will continue in that fashion until you stop doing dumb shit to piss me off. You seriously hurt my heart, Stevie, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep putting myself into this very self-destructive situation.

Until next time.



Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Disappoint. It's a part of life. deal with it.

Which the title directly refers to my experience in the Long Island Wal-mart last night, but it is 15 minutes passed my bedtime and I have had a very long and pissy day (read: TRAGIC. Not getting much sleep, going to the Post Office before work thinking it was a block away when in reality it was 5 avenues- or something dramatic like that- having the Postal worker deliver me a box that was split open, toting it back to my apartment which made me late for work where I had a maddening co-worker drive me to the brink of the window, followed by rain in New York and being 2 avenues away from my office. . . and actually having to work)

but I cannot be all negative. I do have my health (sort of), I got to webcam chat with my niece, had really good Sushi for the first time in the city, watched One Tree Hill (which could also be categorized under tragic.) and found out my own personal Jon Jon will be visiting me in the city in a few weeks to continue our adventures on The East Coast.

And dammit didn't I say it was past my bedtime?

Monday, February 25, 2008

Very good lesson for the day.

Psychoanalyze Yourself; Don't read ahead, just answer the following questions with the first thought that comes to mind. Then read which each answer means at the end. (No cheating! )
This is pretty cool!

1. You are not alone. You are walking in the woods. Who is with you?
A. What the hell are we doing walking in the woods anyway?!

2. You are walking in the woods. You see an animal. What kind of animal?

3. What intection takes place between you and the animal?:
None. He just scurries by (which Im sure leads A into a fit of girly screams. . . LoL!)

4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing, and before you is your DREAM house. How big is it?
It's a huge castle from the 1300s

5. Is your dream house surounded by a fence?:
no, not just a fence; it's a fort.

6. You enter the house. You walk into the dining room and see the dining?
None. The inside is very dirty and bare. . .like no one has been in it since the 1300s.

7. You exit the house and a cup is on the ground, what kind is it?:

8. What do you do with the cup?
Nothing. I didnt drop it!

9. You walk to the edge of the property where you find yourself standing at what kind of body of water?
a lake

10. How will you cross the water?
umm. . . I wont? I dont really like to swim.

After you copy and paste into a new bulletin, and answer ALL the questions above you can look down here.

1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is the most important to you.

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life.

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.

4. The size of your dream home is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems.

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You'd prefer people not drop by unannounced.

6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, or people, then you are generally unhappy.

7. The durability of the material with the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship.

8. What you did with the cup is representative of your attitude.

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your desire to love.

10. The way you cross the water is representative to how easy or hard you expect your life to be.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Things not to say on a date

While sitting in the romantic setting of a snow filled Central Park and people watching

"Well, at least we're not the only assholes in this weather"

When asked Do you know what street Central Park ends at
"I don't really give a fuck"

Sometimes I really need a filter. Or I need to date more. OR I just need to stop drinking excessively on the weekends when I know I have something to do the next day that does not require a hangover.

And yes, you nosey roseys, even after all that he still wants to see me again. He must be a saint.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Thanks for the memories

Guess who won z100's contest to meet Ms Simpson?

Yea. That would be me (without the help of my media friends, thank you.) Too bad I didn't win the Avril tickets, but this is fine.

Monday night I am taking a train to the Long Island Wal-mart.


Yes. Wal-mart. I think I'm more excited about the location than the reason I am going. This is a-mazing.

Now I have to think of what to say to her besides "L-O" and "Thanks for the memories". And she better not be late, Im an old lady going out on a school nite and I have an hour commute back.

Thursday, February 21, 2008


Me in an email a few seconds ago:

"Too bad Im too old, but seriously if that bitch were to pull this shit four years ago, I'd ruin her life."

At least there is something to say about becoming wiser with age.

But dammit. I would really like to give her a good case of Shaken Baby Syndrome. I don't know what she wants to be when she grows up, but currently she is an expert at being a pain in my ass.

Funny. This picture looks more like her than me. Ok. That was mean and hateful. I'm sorry, god. but



alot. right now.


This song makes me giggle.

apple bottom jeans

And You're Welcome!

Monday, February 18, 2008

Happy Presidents' Day!

I have had my one shot and a beer for the celebration (which is a lot tamer than it would have been in my college years- one of my very best friends had a tradition on this wonderful holiday to start early in the morning and do a shot for each president. of course, we would get to about 5 and then start picking our favorites). My one shot of jager, of course, would be for our future president, Hilary Clinton, and the Stella (my new favorite beer, btw) to chase for the 40 other ones.

Then I proceeded to giggle through a conversation where I should have been "aloof and not too quick to respond but letting him know I was interested". Damn me and my effin relationship advice. It doesn't taste so sweet when I have to drink it. Me and my stupid self-righteousness has kept me out of the game so long that I forgot how to play. This sucks. But Im sure it's like a bandaid and if not, I am signing up for a convent. Wish me luck! Apparently I need it.

And now I will get back to a game that I am too familiar with- anyone know a four letter word for "give off"?

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

It's stnowing!

which is what I call it when the snow sticks! (it snowed on Sunday but it didn't stick so it only snowed)
And that was my one second of happiness. Now I'm over it. But here are some nifty pictures from the front of my apartment building:

And I don't have any shoes with grip. damn. EXCEPT my trusty Uggs!! But I don't think work will appreciate me trugging in everyday in shoes that look like sweaters.

I have decided the snow is pretty. until the unwashed masses of public transportation walk threw it and make it look like a toilet overflowed all over the city.
(Which reminds me, I am probably sick because I went a week without riding on the subway, which I have learned happens to be New Yorkers' immunity to illness.)

And now it's time for ONE TREE HILL!!
Team Layton!

Ooh. This is exciting

So my pretty purple sparkly wallet is nearly 2 grand lighter.
I finally bought my Mac and I'm blaming it on all the cold medicine (and damn the meth dealers for fucking up my pseudoephedrine high). I wanted to wait a little longer, but dammit I have been waiting for like 2 months! And we all know when God was handing out patience I was outside smoking (but I definitely went back for seconds for pride)I dont have patience- this was definitely long enough. So in 2-3 days I should have a new and improved Mac laptop that I can buy really cute accessories for.

Haha. Just kidding. That's just plain tragic. But I do plan on having a cute pink cover for it.

I have officially moved into my apartment in Washington Heights, but don't really ask me much about it because I've been in a DayQuil High since my flight landed in JFK on Saturday. I'm sure I will have more to tell once I quit feeling like a:

(which is a medicine head. I had to google that twice. apparently it's a band's name, too)

Have I mentioned I have a thing for the Brooklyn accent? I think that's the medicine talking again.

Any boo. The snow is falling and it's sticking and I hate that I have to walk 2 blocks to the subway now.

Friday, February 1, 2008

best day of my life

When a 5 year old says that to you, its amazing.

If you've never been to Disney with a child for the first time, its a lifetime must. When they turn to you during the Dreams come true parade and say "my dreams can come true, too" or when they see Tinkerbell fly from the castle and say "she IS real"- it's amazing.