Thursday, February 5, 2009

5 things are better than 25.

I popped over to LaiLani and asked her to ask me 5 questions after I read hers- and they are good questions! It took me a good day to really think of the answer to them. Thanks, girlie.
(I would be more than happy to do the same for you- just ask me!)

1. If you were to go back- to way way backland and do Skool all over again, what would you concentrate the most on? Same stuff or different?
That's tricky. The sensible part of me would say "Yes. I would go back and concentrate more on school", but that's a load of crap. I would have partied more. I would have been more irresponsible. I got all my stupid irresponsible partying done in high school, so once I got to college it was all "Been there; done that; Got my stomach pumped". But thinking back, I would have become besties with a whole frat and partied with them every night. I feel like my friends definitely partied more than I did and I missed out on a lot between school, extracurricular and having a boyfriend- and if I didn't have a boyfriend, I was obsessing over him. It was quite exhausting.

The real question is if I would have dedicated as much blood sweat and tears to my sorority- the real reason I went to college (ok. so I'm lying. I really went to college to find my husband and no, I would not concentrate on him nearly as much if I knew then what I know now) and if I would have dedicated those 4 years making Regina George look like Mother Teresa. Probably not, but I couldn't do anything to change it anyway- I was bound and determined and I wouldn't suggest getting in my way when I'm like that.

2. What was your driving force to get outta dodge and into NYC, rather than trying to make it work in NOLA?
What other reason do people have for coming to New York? Power, Money and Prestige- all of which I have failed miserably at.

There wasn't anything to work at in New Orleans. The only thing that was keeping me there was my family and friends. I decided against law school, I hated my job (surprise surprise) and I wanted to make a jump. I felt like I was living in Groundhog's Day and I needed a change. I moved away for college for a reason- I didn't want to end up like the majority of the city, stuck. After Katrina happened, I became really big on staying in the city and rebuilding, but then that became too much to handle. Everyone was leaving and things became really depressing. This was also around my 25th Birthday which sent me into a huge Quarterlife Crisis, where I was questioning everything about my life.

I started asking my friends what they saw me doing and most of the answers were fashion related (I'm pretty sure they meant design, not the business side of it) and then the wheels started turning. Where else are you going to live if you want to work in fashion? And I figured it would be a good excuse to get me here- I had always wanted to move here; I wanted to go to NYU but decided to stay closer to home. If I hated it, there would be a lot more opportunities here to explore than in a city still broken.

Now I'm back to square one.

3. Do you ever doubt yourself? Like when you want something, but don't think you can get/achieve it?

I am forever doubting myself! Why do you think I'm stuck in the crappy office job instead of blogging from bed every day because my crappy book became a bestseller and is going to be made into a crappy movie (j/k. MY book will not be crappy. Someone else's is and I'm a little bitter)? I radiate much more confidence than I actually possess. It's all smoke and mirrors, trust me.

On that note, It's a little known fact that once I put my mind to something, I'm in it to win it and I usually do. It's just actually deciding on something that's the problem- and those vampires in your head are pretty serious. But most of the things I put my mind to are trivial. On things that matter, it's a little harder.

So, yes. I doubt myself often, but I keep it to myself.

4. Who has been the most positive influence in your life?
I'd say I'm really lucky. I have a lot of positive influences in my life. Can I say my therapist? Is that allowed? haha!
My top 3 (because there is no way I could pick one) would be my dad (he is the best dad ever. He is always in my corner and even when he drives me nuts, I know it's only because he loves me so much he can't help it) my niece (who would have thought a 6 year old could teach you so much about life?) and Cassi (having someone who blows your mind at how amazing she is think the same of you? It's crazy!).

Hands down, my best friend has been the most positive influence in my life. I strongly believe he is/ was my soulmate. He knows me better than anyone in the world and still thinks/ thought I was the sun that he revolved around. He never used that information to use against me or for his own advantage. He pulled me out of my very sheltered upper middle class upbringing and showed me that there was a bigger world. All the things I know about his life and he is still able to be the greatest person I know. He gave me confidence. He was there when everyone walked out. He taught me how to smile again. He taught me how important having someone in your life like that is. He was my rock for the majority of my life, without him I guarantee I wouldn't be here today (in more than one sense of that word, too). He can never be replaced even if he isn't in my life right now.

5. How/when/why/where/what did you start smoking? Did you like it at first?
Funny you should ask. I've always wanted to write a blog about it and I'm pretty sure I have one saved in drafts, I just never finished it.
I was a late bloomer. All my friends were smoking at 12, when it took me til I was 15/16. No one ever pressured me into it. I just decided one day and I made my friend give me some. She put five Marlboro Lights in a bubble yum package, I called her that night and she coached me through inhaling. I smoked all 5 of them in a row- that's when I was first introduced to nico-pois (nicotine poisoning). I stayed home from school the next day. And the rest is history.

In college I switched to Capris for awhile. That's what my Nanny smoked and I would steal them from her. Then she got hip to it and started buying them for me.

When I worked in Disney I switched to Camel Turkish Golds- because I needed something stronger than Marlboro's to deal with all the stupid people. When I got back, someone asked me if I had been in jail because he had never seen a girl smoke Camels.

One very large party night, I switched to Camel Turkish Jade 100s (which are menthol) and I had been smoking those ever since, til the bastards discontinued them.

Now, I smoke Camel No. 9 Menthols and I'm running out. Anyone want to mail me some? I refuse to pay $10 a pack.


LaiLani Ali said...

I used to smoke menthols too- Virginia Slims. Deelish. But I stopped smoking when I was 23 I think. Now, I'm way older an wiser, and occasionally steal my roomie's cigs straight outta her hand, already lit. But that's only when I'm already lit too.

Also, about #2, you hating your job, and wanting to do something different- what are you going to do about it?

Because you are wasting time if you aren't on the right career path for yourself. GET ON IT! For reals.

TTQ said...

$10 a pack?! I get pissed when I pay more than $3.50. I buy duty free cartons when we go on our yearly cruise.

I smoke cigars on occasion, which some think it's not something a female does. Honey has a huge humidor and sometimes picking one out is the fun part.

kallay said...

have ya tried camel crush? sometimes i menthol.. sometimes i don't! (but mostly i menthol) they're kind of rad.

TN Girl Moving To New York City said...

Great post NQ!

I didn't start smoking until I was 25! I'm 32 now!

I totally get the Groundhog Day effect and the fashion thing. I have always been told I should pursue this but I guess the insecure part of me held me back but I'm hoping this move will motivate me to pursue it.