You wanna know what sucks?

Waiting until your nails dry and hoping your bladder does not explode because you decided to take every one's advice and paint your nails so you don't scare away a boy (trust me, there are many other reasons I could scare him off and I guarantee my chipped nails wouldn't even make the top 10) and pulling up and down tights with wet nails is quite messy and annoying. Like the black isn't going to tip him off anyway. I will give them credit, they tried everything to sway me into a Black Cherry or Gunmetal color, but I stood my ground.
Chipped or Black. At least if I would have stayed with the horrible chipped, I'd be able to pee right now.

Just because you order a Diet Coke, doesn't make you healthy.

For the record, I do care about myself and I think am a lot more socially responsible than some people.

American Lung Association, with all do respect, kindly piss off.

I deleted you for a reason.

Why do you want to re-friend me after I deleted your ass months ago and you just realized it now? There was a reason I deleted you and it was probably b/c I dont think we are that good of friends, you post stupid bulletins or I just generally don't care how you are doing. I understand having me on your friend list gives you street credit for knowing a hot girl, but it ruins mine.

I'm really not that interesting. Trust me. And for the record, drooling over myspace pictures of a girl you can never have is not ok in your late 20s.

Word of the Day.

Worthless.

Straight from churches, Ya boyfriend's worthless. Cause Luda goes deep, while he barely scratch the surface.

That's from "Whatever you like" T.I. featuring Ludacris. It makes me happy right now.
I think any word ending in -less is making me happy.

Ugh. Not cool.

Can someone please take a moment out of their busy life to explain to me WHERE THE FUCK DID LAST WEEK GO?!
Although it is well documented, I am still at a loss as to how it snuck away from me and how I am back at work so quickly. I feel like I woke up this morning and it was all a dream. The only thing that tipped me off was the suitcase I tripped over this morning and the 125 unread emails in my inbox. boo.

And even if I am not super stoked to be back in the city with 8 million strangers and even if I have a million things to do to prepare, I am really excited about tomorrow. It hasn't really sunk in who is coming tomorrow, but hopefully that will keep the nerves away. That story is going to change tonight when I'm desperately trying to unpack, clean and pick something to wear.
(I really hate that you read this, btw. You are keeping me from talking about you b/c I know everyone in blog world wants to know you exist and all about you. AND I expect a text as soon as you read this. :P)

Where is Shockey?

Jeremy,
You are hurting my heart. I cannot find you on the field and the only reason I came to this Saints game is to stare at you for three hours fantasizing about what our children would look like and all the dirty things I would do to you. Instead, I might actually have to watch the game and learn how it is played. You are not on my nice list. But I will still bare your children if #83, #64, #86 and #3 (who I am currently fighting with Fred over) don't win my heart over by the end of the game. I seriously need to pay attention to football more often.

Love,
Your Future Ex-Wife.
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In traffic

That's special.
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