And the corniness never gets old

Look! I have a heart on my sleeve!
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Christmas Wish Listing

Is it terrible to be already emailing your family members what you want for Christmas? Technically, I started last week with the emailing but every time I talked to them from the months of August on, I was telling them exactly what I want. I've even bought a few things for them to give to me and had them shipped home. Sucks I don't think I'm going to get very surprised this year, but at least I will get exactly what I want and I can plan space in my suitcase.


Asking for a Tiffany's necklace when I'm already getting a TV is wrong, right? Especially when I plan on pleading my case for an apartment in New York? hehe!!

I feel good.

Finally made it back to the gym and I even took a class. A pilates class pretending to be yoga but whatev.
I forgot how good burning off nervous energy feels.

And if any of you tell my parents I said that, I will flog you! They have preached that to me for years but being the rebel (without a cause) that I am, I have adamantly ignored their advice.

Is it weird to crave a peanut butter sandwich?
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I'm not kidding.

The Blackberry is officially in my desk drawer.

I feel like a crackhead because now when I want to check it, I have to stop what I'm doing to go into the drawer- every five minutes. Maybe locking it in there? Giving the key to a co-worker?
I'm trying to decide if I'm strong enough to leave it there for lunch.

I can do this. I am a strong ass female!

I hope you're happy.

Am I really going to be that girl that waits for his call?
Am I really going to be that girl who waits for his email?
Am I really going to be that girl who checks her Blackberry every 5 seconds?

4 years of training myself NOT to be that girl and look at me now. I've been down that road. I've taken a backseat. I've been 2nd and 3rd before and I can't do it again. Why am I grasping at the little bit of attention given and thinking that enough instead of demanding more? I cannot drive myself crazy waiting for him to recognize how amazing I am. I cannot have my life consumed by someone who doesn't appreciate me.

This is why I am so guarded.
This is why I won't let you in.

This is why I do things to purposely hurt you.

God, I need a hobby (that does NOT include reading books about knights in shining armor).

It's not polite to stare

Into your neighbors' windows.
As I was smoking in my back alley, I noticed a light on and a man at a computer. I dosed off into space contemplating some famous writer diligently working on his next bestseller, when I noticed him staring back. I also noticed that he was shirtless (probably naked) and I probably interrupted a very sexy moment in cyber sex land. Bummer.

Because after all, the internet is for porn ;)
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And since when is "spider monkey" a term of endearment?! You have been dis-dazzled.

Dear Catherine Hardwicke,

Please stop directing movies. At very least, step away from the Twilight Saga, please. Words cannot express how disappointed I was with Twilight. I would like my $12.50 back along with the two hours wasted on the joke of a movie you made. I spent a week waiting to see this film, fully prepared to be depressed from the romance pouring off of the screen. My date buying a Diet Coke for me even though he hates it and taking me to Chipotle afterwards was more romantic than the entire movie. Edward's mood swings may have been giving Bella whiplash (which can someone please explain to me when he was ever being nice to her?!), but your choppy scene transitions were making me nauseated. I have never laughed more at inappropriate times due to the terrible acting you allowed slip through the editing process(including the time I was dragged to see The Chronicles of Narnia and I laughed the entire movie because the children were so damn ugly. My friend is still not talking to me because of it, too).

Don't get me wrong, I love independent films, but this was physically painful to watch. I would like to compare it to watching someone fall backwards down a moving escalator. I was paralyzed with shock and fear as blood spouted out of his head but I could not look away and now I have that horrid image burned in my memory for the rest of my life (this actually happened the night I saw the movie, btw). When I got out of the subway I was shaking on the verge of tears and sick to my stomach. It was nearly the same exact reaction I had 2 hours prior leaving the theater.

I can't fault you completely, though. You are obviously talented; you took an amazing love story and turned it into one of the biggest movie disasters I've ever had to watch.

xoxo

PS- That Stephenie Meyer cameo? If I could have lost more respect, I would have.