Tuesday, October 20, 2009

(Un?)Faithfully Devoted to you?

This question is for my faithfully married friends. I came across this question a few weeks ago randomly and it got me thinking.

So, being humans and all that stuff, it’s inevitable there is going to be a time in your life when you are going to be attracted to another male (or female) who is not your legal significant other. Just because you have a piece of paper saying you are legally bond to this person for the rest of your life does not turn off hormones. My question is, how do you deal with that? (without cheating. . . if I really must add that to the question without it being obvious)

If it’s in a social setting, I can see not spending as much time with that person and making sure you are never in a situation that would be too tempting, but what about in a work environment where your job depends on spending time with that person? What do you do then? And then, isn’t emotional cheating worse than physically cheating? And essentially if you have these feelings, you are cheating, right?

I just wanted to get some feedback and see what yall have to say.

I understand that sometimes slip ups happen and you are going to mess up, but this question isn’t directed to those who have. It's to those who have over came and did not throw away a solid relationship for some silly feeling in their stomach.


Andie said...

This is an interesting question- I have to say that I really have no desire to connect or have an emotional/physical relationship with anyone else.

I am fully content in my relationship with scott and I really don't have reason to want to stray.

I also don't have any hot guys knocking on my door trying to hook up with me. LOL I mean, the only kinds of guys that hit on me now are older guys that are totally not my type.

Seriously, though- I LOVE Scott. Truly and whole heartedly. I don't want to lose what we have. I think, to me, the idea of losing my best friend and the person I know I can count on through everything isn't worth it. I honestly don't feel like there is anyone else that could fill in where he can.

Does that make sense? if You want to talk more about it, or ask me more questions, you know how to get in touch with me.

Secret Life of a Fat Girl said...

Where's Cassie when you need her! lol (although I am sure you have already discussed it with her!)

My opinion, being the extroverted person I am, and which i know you are too, I always find myself being attracted to people all around me. I think as humans we are always connecting with people. I think when it gets a bit hairy is when you start entertaining the thought of crossing that line. I would say keep yourself in check with reality, don't allow your mind to wonder to the "what happens if" spot. That silly feeling in the stomach is what got you got you where you are today. Knowing that you have a solid relationship is a great start.
Just develop that friendship, but keep yourself in check.

And if all else fails, imagine he is gay! :)

.Nicotine.Queen. said...

Thanks, guys!
If you ever do run across that feeling, let me know!

PinkPiddyPaws said...

I've discussed this with Mr. Arm Pillow. He says that the minute a person is no longer a "friend of the the relationship" -- in other words, there is something going on between them and yourself or them and your s/o that you wouldn't be comfortable telling your s/o about -- it is time to end that friendship.

To him, that becomes the defining moment of whether or not you are cheating. It doesn't translate well in text, but i totally get what he means.

The BF said...

I agree with all of them but Pink makes the most sense.

The BF said...

I agree with all of them but Pink makes the most sense.

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