Still don't know what an egg has to do with feet or dry skin

Newsflash:

I bought a Ped Egg. (Yea, because I apparently can throw away money like that)

I've been reallyyyy needing a pedicure (summer feet and sandals- hello!) (and speaking of throwing away money, I went on my annual sandal binge and bought 6 new pairs of sandals. Yes. Six. But I couldn't help it! Blowfish rocks my world! plus, I need to take advantage of my company discount now. Not that I would even consider shopping there anyway . . . . . anyway)

I digress.

The Ped Egg. Makes me giggle. I needed to own one and they had them at Duane Reade. It was an impulse buy.

omg. it's a fucking CHEESE GRATER for your feet, yo. funniest shit ever. I really giggled at it too. The egg actually tickled and the fact that I was essentially creating toe cheese killed me ("toe cheese" totally reminds me of my dad. random, I know. maybe b/c he was the first to introduce the term to me)

And let me tell you, it wasn't all fun and games. My feet were in tragic condition. New Yorkers feet are tougher than their attitudes, I swear. It took me like 20 minutes just to get my feet to look semi-normal. And now the bottoms of my feet do not scratch my sheets.

TMI? Hope no one has a phobia of feet :-)

Bridges may be burning

Do I really want to tell HR exactly how I feel about their company? (In the most appropriate way, of course) or Is it really worth my time? I doubt anything I have to say is going to change their company policies on vacation and sick days along with the crappy bereavement. I have no doubt in my mind, I would rather live in a box on the side of the road than to ever work in Corporate America (let alone this company) again. But is it really worth beating my head against the wall one more time?

I have until the end of next week to think about it but I wanted other people's thoughts and whatnot as to what they did when they left.

Thoughts?

Team Lachey!

I'm not even going to lie. I was a total Newlyweds fan. I own every season. Yes, it was a disaster but I could not help myself. I figured if Jessica's stupid spoiled ass could get a guy like Nick to treat her like a goddess, there was hope for me! Then she fucked it all up. Stupid bitch.

And that's why I'm going to have to say, No, Jessica. For the love of all things Southern, NO.

What I'd tell my younger self.

This is a really good article

and this is what I would add to it personally:

You are not as fat as you think you are.

Everyone will eventually catch up to your height and your cup size and the ones that don't, feel sorry for them. They wish they would.

Money will not make you happy.

You do not have to be every one's friend. It's ok if people don't like you. They aren't worth changing yourself for and a little bit of selfishness is healthy.

That Rainbow Brite doll is not the be all, end all of existence.

You will not look good as a blonde and God gave you brown eyes for a reason.

He's not worth it.

He's really not worth it.

Kick his ass to the curb.

You really can do anything you set your mind to.

Except fly. 

Or lie. You are a terrible liar and you should just give it up.

Your parents are the best ever and you should give them a break. All they ever want is the best for you and for you to be happy. Quit being a spoiled brat. 

Black nail polish will become fashionable. Rock it.

. . . . . and apparently I had a lot more to say than I thought.

Forgot to mentions

I put my two weeks notice in :-)
Fashion World, you can keep it. I'm off to more exciting things, like hostels in Europe, vacations home and art school! YaY!

I actually don't feel much different about finally making it official. I think it might have to do with the fact that I checked out of the situation months ago and now I'm just going through the motions. Ask me again next Friday. I'm sure I will be completely devastated when my life will not consist of a cubicle and stupid stupid people.

P.S. kiddies (just in case you have gotten this golden rule): Be careful what you write on the internets, you never know who's reading it ;-) (Hi Mom! The previous post about sex? I was kidding. honest.)

An intricate intimate conversation

BF: I think I know what your problem is with living together.
NQ: Baby, I don't have a problem. I have a catholic upbringing.

following going to see Shrek the musical:

NQ: Want to watch Shrek 2 or have sex?
BF: Ummm. . .. watch Shrek 2. We had sex last night and I haven't seen Shrek 2 in awhile.
NQ: Ok?
BF: But you have to keep your legs open in case I change my mind.

I forwarded the above to Fred

Fred: Is that from Shrek the musical? I have seen your boobs and Shrek 2. If I were him I would have the sex. Your boobs are more entertaining.
NQ: He says my boobs don't sing and dance. I guess that's the breaks when they're real.
Fred: Lord knows your "staging" is much more fabulous. Keeping them up and at attention involves special effects Spielberg is in awe of.
NQ: That's why I love you.

and the next morning:

Fred: I think we both may have been drunk last night. The texts are amazing.

Sadly, I was stone cold sober.

mail goodness

I love you too, Mom!
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Ahoy, sailor!

Fleet Week is once again upon us. Happy Memorial Day weekend!
Lucky for me, I have my own soldier to snuggle up with this weekend but seeing them in the masses is still a thrill :)
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mood status not bright.

I have not been in a mood like this since before I was getting sex regularly. jk. but seriously I can't even remember the last time I was generally pissed off before I sat down at my desk. I am actually scared to approach myself. I'm itching to yell at someone. I want to belittle them to the size of a pea. I have actually noticed co-workers keeping their distance (shocker. wasn't aware most of them had common sense)

God! How much longer til I leave this joke of a company? I would just like to thank you again for making the past year and a half a living nightmare and an alternate universe where you believe you are curing cancer by dressing people in overpriced crap. I truly pity you.

Taking the day off

kind of sucks. There is no one to keep me entertained while I do laundry in the middle of the day on a Wednesday. Then I remembered I have a lot of people who can entertain me including a boyfriend, a best friend and an unemployed roommate I get to bug the shit out of :)
This is fabulous. Can't wait to start school!
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Austin, TX.

Thoughts?

Experiences?

Do you think the city could handle me?

Stay tuned. . .

German Chocolate Cupcakes.

The breakfast of champions. Yum! Not as good as my grandma's but it will do.

And I think I have set a new record of how many times I can spill my coffee in an hour and how much distance it covers on my desk. Now I don't think any of my paperwork has not been touched.

I have this really excited feeling at the bottom of my stomach. I don't know what that's all about and I don't want to jinx it. I'm thinking it might mean things are looking up (because honestly, I don't know how much more crap I could handle being thrown my way). Funny how life works.

Things are finally in order on the school and roommate front AND I have a cuddle partner for the weekend. I think I deserve another cupcake.

Have a fabulous weekend!

Abnormally attracted to sin

Guess who's putting out a new album May 19th?

Guess who's going on tour and will be in New York August 13 at Radio City Music Hall?

Who's coming with me?
Cannot. Wait.

bullet points.

I'm a little concerned. I put on tights this morning with nail polished holes in one knee. I don't recall owning any like that. . . . .

I guess this is what getting back to life feels like, but it feels better than normal. That's a good thing. I can feel things changing. It's scary but at the same time it's really exciting and I sooo ready!

I really like not coming home to an empty apartment. YaY for awesome roommates ;-) Cross your fingers about the girl coming over tonight. You have no idea how bad I need this stress in my life to end.

I'm channeling my Nanny today. I want to channel her everyday. I think it's funny how all the goddaughters in my family follow in their godmothers footsteps. It makes me happy and if I only become a portion of how amazing she was, I'll be happy.

And speaking of how awesome my Nanny was, she had amazing best friends. I've decided I want friendships like she had, so I'm going to try harder to be a better friend.

And the friends I have now are amazing as it is.

BFF told me that her sister is planning on going to the same college we went to and she wants to rush our sorority! YaY! I love legacies. Anyway, her sister told her "and besides that is where you met Abby right? Maybe I will meet an Abby". I nearly cried!

I'm still addicted to Orange Tic-Tacs.

I'm in desperate need of a puffy floral skirt and some super cute moccasins/loafers.

I can't wait to get into my bed. It's super comfy and big. And I haven't slept in anything bigger than a twin for the past week which sometimes inhabits a 6 year old in the middle of the night.

I'm semi-obsessing over Blue Dog. I painted one, but my dad liked it so much, he confiscated it. oh well. I guess I will have to paint another one.

I love that I know so many inspiring people in so many different creative outlets. I feel like I've been hiding my creative side and it's finally getting to play.

I feel like life is cutting into my crochet time.

I think it may be time for another weekend trip. . . . to Jersey to visit IKEA!

Maybe I should go do something productive. Like get lunch.

peace.

A world where people break out into song and dance

I laughed at my sister when she told me listening to Broadway musical soundtracks make her feel better.

Well, let me tell you, that shit works.
Bring on the Legally Blonde, Wicked and Rent!
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It can't rain all the time.

But according to the forecast, it will for the rest of the week. ewwww.

And as the saying would pertain to my life, it's got to get better, right? Life goes on, the best way out is always through and yadda fucking yadda. I'm working on it.

So, this blog has been quite depressing for awhile and I'm sorry about that. But I would like to tell yall about the things I've been doing that have a positive note.

Let's talk about The Rasberry Brothers. If you are in the New York area, you have to check them out at Clearview Cinemas in Chelsea. Hysterical. Never in my life would I have thought I'd nearly pee my pants watching Dirty Dancing, but it happened.

And not only that, but in the theater right next door was Rocky Horror Picture Show. Talk about high school flashbacks! There are a few friends who have never been before, so I see that in my future. Heaven help me. I am not throwing rice, but I will get up and do the time warp!

I had the most amazing burger ever (besides my dad's, of course) and all I had to do was walk a block from my apartment. amazing. I'm really starting to like Brunch. It's all the rage in New York.

Plus, I recently heard about Handmade Nation, which is a book and a documentary about the rise of indie craftsters. The documentary premiered in DC this past weekend, but it will be touring all over the country, so you should check it out. And while you're at it, buy me a copy of the book. It is going back to DC in July, so I'm going to try to make it.

Dnd speaking of handmade goodness, how can you not fall in love with this:

Crocheting is such a fabulous vacation for my mind right now.

It comes in threes

When is this going to end?
I don't have anyone else in my family I can afford to lose.

Door Holding.

I'm sorry but I will always have a problem with the lack of chivalry that permeates throughout New York City.

You know what scratch that. With the lack of common courtesy. Let the people of the train first and don't cut me off.

I don't care if you do consider yourself a flaming fucking queen, you still have a penis!
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