Things I haven't really wanted to talk about. Part 1

I think I'm going to go ahead and put this at the top of the new list as to why I'm an even bigger (if that could be possible) holy hot mess.

Abusive Relationships.

I'm not going to lie, I judged them. It's just common sense: Boy abuses (in whatever sense of the word) you= you leave. duh. It wasn't until I caught myself in one of these that I realized how not so easy it is.

These people are bad bad people. I believe it's a trait that cannot be learned, but instead something you are born with. It's like a manipulating gene that exists inside them that they don't even know exists sometimes but use it to their advantage to every possible degree. I don't even know how to properly explain how they mind fuck you, but it happens. It's like silent frat boy hazing. They know better than to start off trying to break you down. A strong independent person would catch on right away. Instead, they go about it in the most covert sneaking through the backdoor psych-ops manner (seriously, the military could take some pointers from these mental terrorists). You're left with the rug pulled out from underneath you with your world turned upside down- and most of the time you have no idea any of this just happened. Then, it's all over. You're stuck because you think there is no one else out there that could possibly love you so you put up with it over and over.

Now, luckily I have a very smart friend who recognized the signs and made me realize (much to my dismay) what was happening. For many, they aren't so lucky and they never do realize that their world was flipped. It even took me a hot minute to allow myself to see the situation for what it was and I feel like that's saying something. A girl who always has one foot on the ground in relationships to fall for this?! I'm still completely baffled at how I allowed it to happen. I'm baffled and angry. Mainly, angry at myself.

Why am I sharing all this? I guess just to make you aware. Aware of the silent mental terrorist who feed off of vulnerable women so you don't become one, too. And yea, I thought it could never happen to me, too. Don't be prideful, just be careful.