Neighborhood snob

I am one.
I really hate the East Side, mainly Lower because it's such a bitch to get to.
Ugh!
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Gotta love tourist.

Tourist: "Is this train going to stop at 42nd St?"

Me: "Um, yea. It's kind of a big one."

Tourist: "Oh good. Do I have to ring a bell or something to get it to stop?"

Me: "Yes. If you find it, let me know."

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At the laundromat

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Warm clothes fresh out of the dryer = ♥

I'm not really much into astrology.

But damn. This is pretty much spot-on.

The Aquarius Woman
An Aquarius woman is unusual, startling, even unclassifiable. The typical Aquarian woman is atypical, unique. She wants to experience as much as possible and is not afraid of consequences. Every experience is valuable if it shows something about herself and the world. Intelligent and talented, she would rather be judged for her abilities than her glamour and sex appeal.

The Aquarius Lover
The Aquarius lover is full of surprises. They simply cannot be happy or fulfilled unless they are free to do as they like. No matter how deeply in love an Aquarius man or woman may be, they are never willing to sacrifice their autonomy. This has doubtless ended many a love affair or marriage, but they always put honesty ahead of romance.

The Aquarius Friend
Aquarians tend to collect friends the way some people put together an eclectic art collection. Unfortunately, the typical Aquarian may have so many friends that it is impossible to have an intimate personal relationship with any. Some Aquarians may use this as a way to maintain emotional distance.


Aquarius Information
Element: Air
Quality: Fixed
Planetary ruler: Uranus
Birthstone: Amethyst
Flower: Orchid
Color: Aqua
Key characteristic: Iconoclastic
Strengths: Humanitarian, modern, analytical
Challenges: Unreliable, extremist, chaotic


Funny, I feel like I have more of the characteristics of the Feb. 2 person, rather than the Feb. 4. Maybe the birth certificate isn't lying.

You should check out yours:
Birthday Astrology
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces

My Google Reader looks like it wants to explode.

Jesus, people. Yall were busy little bees yesterday.

Now you know why I don't comment as often.

Can today suck anymore?

I can't see. I had a needle in my arm. and leaving the ladies room in Barnes and Noble, my dress was tucked into my leggings.

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Nasty weather sucks.

On days like this (rainy snowy cold nastiness) I really hate New York City. I almost took a cab 5 blocks and I never take cabs, so you know it was serious.
Just my luck, the day I take off of work to get things done is the day the weather wants to be its shittiest. I will probably just curl up in a ball for the rest of the day and pray for an early Summer.
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I got skillz.

This weekend I was productive.

When I say productive I mean I sat my happy ass on the couch and watched TV on my brand new very large TV because it was too cold to leave and the damn A-train wasn't running (do not get me started on New York's joke of public transportation. I'm still angry I waited for an A-train at 14th Street for 20 minutes and I nearly froze to death . . but that is for another day). As I was sitting there, being productive and all, I noticed this was happening:

and then, it just kept getting bigger:

and bigger:

and then it attacked my head!!:

The end.

(please excuse the quality of picture. I took them all with my Blackberry so I could email everyone and annoy them with my productivity. And you can also disregard how retarded I am while you're at it.)

I have $6 in overdue books.

And I could possibly go to jail.

We can all thank the boyfriend for this wonderful tid bit of information. Without him, I'd never have known that or The 6 biggest skincare mistakes (we both have dry skin), The 10 Hot Professions for 2009 (he knows how much I hate my job), or most importantly, what the fuck is going on in the Middle East (he actually pays attention to what's going on in the world and is kind enough to let me know via an emailed Yahoo News article, which I like making fun of him for using Yahoo. Get on the Google bandwagon already!).

I promise just because I have a boyfriend, I will not turn this into a relationship blog (I really hate those, btw. Unless you are funny about it, like Jen and Fletch Lancaster.). But there are just some things he does that make me laugh (remember, making me laugh is key!) and I think it would be fun to share with the world. So, yea. Deal with it.

Thoughts on the arts

Someone passed this along to me today. It's a California public school teacher's thoughts from inauguration day.

"As I watched the inauguration yesterday, I was struck by something in addition to the historical significance of the event. When it comes to the highest degree of ceremony in our land, we turn to that which is often the first to be on the chopping block in tough financial times: the arts. There was singing, poetry, an ensemble of some of the most talented and accomplished instrumental solo artists in the world, discussion of the particular painting featured at the luncheon, grand marches played by a band. Because great societies are often measured by their progress in the arts, we seem to understand intrinsically that these things belong, yet we are often unwilling as a society to preserve them in our education system. For every artist who blessed the nation with their gift yesterday, there was someone who had initially recognized their talent, nurtured it, guided its technical preparation, encouraged its development. Someone introduced Yo-Yo Ma to the cello, and put Aretha Franklin on a stage. These things do not just happen by accident.

The next time you hear the flippant suggestion to cut the arts out of the schools because it’s “nice, but not necessary,” imagine yesterday without the arts… a walk to a podium, an oath, a speech, a walk to whatever comes next… no parades, no balls. Imagine the band members who played “Hail to the Chief,” told in middle school that music would not be offered in their school any more. Imagine if Itzhak Perlman never held a violin. Imagine the featured choir given over to the directorship of someone with no vocal training because the chorus position was cut. These things are happening every day, and someday we may be faced with a quickie courthouse ceremony rather than royal pomp and circumstance befitting a presidential inauguration. Think about it."

The first time I cracked a smile today.

When you have your socially awkward boss trying (and failing) to make really bad jokes and trying to be besties with you because she is highly aware you are dangerously close to your breaking point, it's kinda funny. Actually, it's really funny. Funny enough to get me to almost laugh at an email with a special note to thank me and have a good weekend.

Almost.

The only thing that's truly making me smile is the large bottle of wine that is chilled and waiting for me at home.

Twix: love reunited.

I love Twix.

In college, I told my boyfriend at the time and from then on I think I had one everyday for our entire relationship (which probably explains the Senior 20). And much like him, I got sick of them. I don't think I've actually had one since and that was like 8 years ago.

Today I rediscovered my love.

My creative eye is always bigger than my actual talent.

Ok. I know I can't even make a scarf yet, but I'm working on it. I was a little distracted from practicing but I'm back at it. As soon as I rock that and the slouchy beret I'm determined to make (even if I'm not done until May), I want to make this guy:


I'm a little obsessed with this amigurumi stuff. It's so freakin cute.

Political Confession

I've always wanted to be The First Lady.
For a really long time I actually wanted to be the President, but I'm ok with First Lady status.
Did you not just see the look of love and pride Michelle just gave Barack as he took his oath?
I can't wait to look at my husband like that.

He's just not that into you.

I can't wait to see this movie.

Maybe one day someone will make my book into a funny movie. . . . but I already let the basis of it out into the universe, which means in a few months it's going to be on the bestseller list without my name on it and I'm going to be supremely depressed.

Next idea.

Fashion Blogs

I'm a tad bit obsessed with these things lately. My Google Reader is pretty much run by them now.

Normally I'm not into that kind of stuff. I don't follow trends; I wear what I like, what I feel comfortable in and what I think makes me look good. I don't live for fashion week and I surely don't know a lot of the designers by name that I probably should. 

But maybe- just maybe- I've been drinking too much of the koolaid. 

New Year's Resolution #1: Mailing list free.

By now, we are all aware of my problem with mailing lists.


NEED TO


FUCKING


UNSUBSCRIBE


DAMMIT.


Why? Because I am now a proud owner of the following:

Don't judge me. I never claimed to have willpower. Happy Early Birthday present to me!

To the creators of the "People You May Know" Option.

Seriously, if I wanted them to be my friend, I would have added them by now. I am much better at finding people that I want to continue to be in contact with than your stupid application will ever be. There are a lot of people that happened to be friends with multiple of my friends- and that still doesn't mean I want to be friends with them. And you are obviously not as smart as you think you are, because you are showing me people I have deleted. Of course I know them; doesn't mean I want to be their friends. Most of them I do not want to exist at all, much less on my friend list.

Now, quit bothering me.

When you come up with the "People You May Have Slept With" feature, then I will be interested, seeing as there are a few gaps in my roster due to excessive drinking in college. Until then, kindly piss off.

xoxo

Stitch and Bitch. Or just bitching about stitching.

I have a new project. It’s actually kind of fun. I don’t think I have had a project since I moved here. For the record, I am a professional at starting projects. Finishing them? Not so much. Exhibit A: My very large red trunk taking up space in my parents’ attic. There are supplies in that thing to start pretty much any craft project imaginable. Painting, Scrapbooking, Necklace making, wood crafting (wood crafting? yes. Wood crafting. Don’t ask). You name it- it’s in there. I haven’t had the balls to ask my parents to ship it up to me yet. Mainly because I have no room (duh!) And I know I will just add more crap to throw in it and never restart anything anyway.


So what’s this new project? I’m going to join the bandwagon and learn how to crochet ( I tried knitting and the 2 needle thing fucked me up or maybe I just didn’t get it b/c I was drinking, either way). My roommate (not Frenchie) and I went this weekend to a yarn store Soho to get supplies. Now I have all the materials. . . . and no clue what to do with them.

I am totally fucking intimidated. I will straight up admit that. How this is supposed to be a relaxing stress relieving activity is beyond me. My blood pressure skyrockets as soon as I look at a pattern. There are a lot of abbreviations on those things- it’s like a whole new language and I barely have a grasp on English.

I’m assuming these patterns are the same as sewing patterns (yes. I even took sewing classes. That lasted about 5 minutes). I need to stick with the BASIC because when the pattern says EASY, it’s anything but. (You are going to try and tell me a heart shaped purse is considered easy? I call bullshit, Lion. I call bullshit) I’m really close to calling the whole project off, and

Tonight I’m going to YouTube it, but I still don’t know if that’s going to help. I’m not a self-taught type of gal. I’d rather have a physical teacher there, so I can whine and bitch. It’s not as fun whining when you are whining to yourself and no one else gets to be annoyed.

I might have to make a trip to Barnes and Noble tonight, for this book. Happy Hooker? My Nanny is forever calling me that and she crochets, so I think it's a sign. Or I've just had too many caffeinated drinks.

People always leave.

We have a new roommate (well, we've had a new roommate for a couple of weeks now, but I'm finally getting around to addressing it). Thank goodness, too, because I have no idea how we were going to afford January rent (Have I ever said New York is quite expensive? Yea. Big surprise there.)

Frenchie (that's what we call her. Can you guess where she's from? I was against the nickname originally, in case one day we slipped up and called it to her face, but now it's funny) goes to college in North Carolina and is here to do an internship. This means she's temporarily living in the city until April.

So, I've made the executive decision that I am not going to get to know her. I know this seems a little harsh, but in my head it makes perfect sense. I have enough long distance friends who I already do a craptastic job of keeping in touch with (again, why some of you put up with me, I will never know) and having one more is probably going to break me. I have made exactly 5 really good friends since I moved here and only ONE is still present. I never understood what Peyton Sawyer was talking about, until now (That is a One Tree Hill reference, btw. If you're not with it, you better ask somebody).

Ever since I moved here I feel like I've gotten into a pattern of making really good temporary friends. I get to know someone, create a great friendship and then they leave. I understand New York isn't very permanent for a lot of people and it's kind of hard to make it here, but this phenomenon of people moving away from the city is new to me. I will never understand and every time it happens I always feel like Nick Lachey when Jessica blindsided him with divorce papers. But what happened? I thought I was a good friend! DON'T LEAVE ME!! (I'm sorry. I don't know what actually went down, but I can totally see Nick whining like that. No offense. I'd give a cup size to have a guy like him. He just seems like the sensitive type)

Remember, I'm from New Orleans, where it is unthinkable to ever want to leave and if you do, you're out casted. New Orleans girls quote Chris Rose's "She is a New Orleans girl and New Orleans girls never live anywhere else and even if they do, they always come back. That's just the way it is. To hell with no house, no car, no job, no prospects. This is where she belongs. And her mama lives here." and they probably have this tattooed on their asses, in case they ever forget. I swear there is a weird gravitational pull directly under the surface of the earth at exactly 30lat/90long which keeps people living in a city that keeps sinking with the worst educational system in the country and no opportunities. . . but I digress. Maybe I am a little bitter I wasn't one of those girls who settled down with her college sweetheart and has 3 kids who get to see their grandma everyday. . . . . maybe I just like making fun of you. who knows?

The point is, I am no longer interested in meeting people who are in New York (i.e. my life)temporarily. My patience has run thin on people who can dismiss this city so easily whereas I have no idea why I'm still here, but I know there is a reason so I'm sticking it out. This is the center of the universe, people! Where the hell are you going?

One of my first questions when I meet someone is going to be "How long do you plan on being in the city?" and if there is an expiration date, you will automatically be disregarded no matter how fabulous you are. Tough love, baby.

In a relationship.

If Facebook says it, then it must be true :-)

Please ignore the extremely dorky excitement I am trying to contain (which is actually quite easy when your throat has swollen so bad, you can't swallow). I've never changed my relationship status before, so it's kind of a big deal.

And notice the Birthday (well, one of the birthdays), people. It's coming up and you should start planning my fabulous gift now. My favorite color is silver ;-)

Magnolia cupcakes.

The only thing I will quit whining about how crappy I feel for 5 minutes to devour. Have I mentioned I feel like crap?
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$44 later at the big DR

on cold medicine.
In 20 minutes, I'm either going to be feeling reallyyyy good or dead.
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What you want to know.

There is a sock-eating monster in my bedroom. He has successfully eaten all of my socks and I am a little concerned as to what I am going to do for the rest of the week, seeing as I cannot do laundry until this weekend and it is only Monday (plus, I need to find a new laundromat for that matter. Last time I did laundry, a guy asked me out- I know, right? Such a New York thing to happen!- and then I forgot to call him back. oops. That's going to be awkward. Especially because. . . . well, you should just continue to read)

You're not super concerned about my sock predicament, are you? Fine.

This makes me giggle:



I mean, who seriously says HOORAY!! after they delete their spam folder? The only person I can think of who actually would is me and even I think it's moronic.

Oh. That's not what you wanted to know either? Darn.

Well, right now I have a strange craving for Cheddar Chex Mix. That has GOT to be something you wanted to know. There. Now you can sleep soundly tonight, knowing I am probably going to eat this entire bag of snack food. Not only did I start this fabulous year off in bed, but now I am going to eat a whole bunch of junk food, which is definitely not my new year's resolution.

Not it?
OOOOOOhhhhhhhkkkkkaaaayyyyyyy.
You want to know that at the moment a certain boy is speaking to his publicist informing him to send out the memo that he is currently off the market? (Those would be his words, not mine). I think it's safe to say, I didn't scare him off, which is good to know. I think it would have been very upsetting to think there was something wrong with him. I mean, what sane person could possibly not adore me? j/k. I know that isn't the tune I was whistling a few weeks ago, but I am pretty sure It's safe to assume. I mean, I have written proof.

And now for the fun part. I'm stealing Red's post about FB status (I would link it, but I don't know if I'm allowed to link this one or not, so I will quote it). My sentiments, exactly.

Dec 14, 2008 3:32 PM
Facebook status
by Red
When is it time to update your Facebook status? Do you wait 2 weeks? A month?When? Because I think it is time to update mine to "in a relationship" but I don't wanna seem too presumptuous.
I'm really happy though. :)

Me, too, Red :-)