Things I bet you didn't know

and STILL don't want to know.


Fun Quirks and secret (that I feel like sharing) about me


1. I hate bad vibes. (Ok. before I go on, I do believe if you didnt find me crazy before, and even if you did, this is going to send you into firm-believer town) I can feel bad vibes in my home- and this is a main reason I hate for being to be in my room. Usually if someone goes into my room with these bad vibes, they leave them there and I cant go back into the room they left them in for a full few hours. I usually have to open the window, too, to get them out. I dont fully understand it, but I feel bad vibes and I hate them. This happened more in college but every now and then it will happen. I dont know. . . dont ask. Im just weird.

2. I have to have something to drink with me at all times. I forever carry mugs with me- and before I moved here I would stop at the gas station to get a fountain diet coke and carry it with me at all times. Most of the time, I never finish the drink, I just have to know that it is at my disposal.

3. I wish I was one of those people who sing in the shower and dance around their room in their underwear singing into a hair brush. I've never felt the need to do it though.

4. I hate shopping malls. No, Seriously. I don't like going to them with people and if I go Im on a mission. I mean sometimes I'll go and be there for awhile but I never go for the hell of it, I will always have a reason and a particular item in mind for buying (which doesnt mean I don't leave with a million bags of useless shit I never needed in the first place- b/c Im good for that) But anyway, all those people freak me out. I seriously get clammy and walk extremely fast through the people and I have to think happy thoughts until I get to the car.

5. On the shopping thing, for years I would not be able to go into a store without buying something- anything. I just had to buy something if I graced the store with my presence, hence the amount of useless shit, clothing with the tags still on them, shoes still in the boxes, etc. But I am getting better that this.

6. Online shopping will be the death of me. I seriously have a problem and I should have given it up for Lent.

7. I drive better drunk than sober. I perfected the art in High School, being as I was one of few friends that had a car, and I don't go out for shits and giggles, I go out to get drunk. It seriously is true. I feel safer in my car when Im drunk because Im actually paying attention to driving. And having said that, to calm everyone's nerves, I can drive until I say I cannot. Im really good about telling people when I cannot drive, but until you see me get to that point when I will pass the keys over, it always freaks the "newbies" out when I say Im fine to drive after a few drinks. But whatever. . . and BTW. . I really hate to be DD. When I lived in Natchitoches I never drove drunk b/c that's a small town and my dad doesn't know the sheriff, so I just wouldn't risk it, so I got spoiled by everyone else toting my drunk ass around and so I will rarely drive if we go out- Make that a mental memo and keep it close to your heart.

8. If I am in a car with someone and they need to stop and go into a store for one reason or another, I make them take their keys. If I go in a store and Im driving, I take mine. A girl I knew once was kidnapped, raped and shot in the head that way. Her mother went in the store, left the keys in the car and someone jumped in it and drove off. Luckily she survived but it still freaks me out.

9. As it pertains to smoking, if I put my cigarette out in an ashtray, it MUST be put out all the way. . no embers, no smoke still coming up- and I make everyone who Im with that is smoking do the same thing or I'll do it for them. As strange as it sounds, I think the smell of a still lit cigarette in an ashtray is the most disgusting smell ever. . . plus Im always afraid of something catching on fire.

10. I have an obsession with pens and notebooks. When I was younger I used to fancy myself a writer. That's what I wanted to be for a long time, but then I realized I'd be self-banished to the starving artist lifestyle, and we all know how I feel about that, so I decided to go in a different direction. So I will suffice writing a book or two after I've made money for the fun of it. Anyway, I seriously have zillions of pens. I have two shelves of notebooks that half I haven't even written in once and the rest are full. I would just always have a fear I would get a great thought or idea and not be able to write it down, so I'd buy new pens and notebooks every time I would go to the store.

11. I have an irrational fear of smelling bad. I literally carry deodorant with me at all times. I have some in my purse, in my desk at work, in my car when I owned one, etc. etc. Dont ask me where this comes from and lord help me in the Summertime in New York.

12. I personally hate to sweat. I think it is the most vile disgusting thing a human can do- for me. You can sweat like a pig for all I care, but the second I start fitzing, Im disgusted.

13. For the first time in my life, I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I consider that a failure. But I am trying to keep this self loathing in check long enough to figure out what I want to do.

14. I really believe there is a knight in shining armor out there for me and I want him to show up on my doorstep so bad I can taste it. I used to be open about my romantic notions, but I have forced myself into the closet with it because I didnt feel like it was forward thinking. But I wont do anything to be taken care of for the rest of my life.

15. I would perish without music. I am extremely dedicated to my music and sometimes songs speak to me so loudly, I physically feel pain.

16. I hate hate hate talking on the phone. And that's probably why most of the time when you call you go straight to voicemail (now, now. This isnt that true anymore. Most of the time if you go to voicemail, its because Im in the subways, but you are safe to assume 50 % of the time I am ignoring you) But when I do get in that rare mood I want to talk, if I call someone- they better answer (and 99% of the time they dont and then they call me back when I am no longer in phone-talk mood and they go straight to the vmail)

17. I wish I had a better relationship with my brother.

18. I love that Im crazy. Not certifiable crazy (although there are many who would disagree) just goofy crazy. I love doing or saying off the wall things that make people laugh or shake their heads at me. It gives me joy in life.

19. I used to love my intensity and bluntness and overwhelmingness but now Im not so sure.

20. I always new I was meant to live in New York City.

21. I have an abnormally large heart that I think I keep hidden, but too many people keep telling me they know already. Im not sure if I like people knowing.

22. The only reason why I want to date/ marry a soldier is because I believe I can love them enough to make all the bad things they've seen or done go away.

23. I am hyper sensitive about my height and my weight. Never make a crack about it (to my face or in any way I can find out about it) because that is sever.

24. I'd rather be sleeping. or smoking.

25. I seriously have no idea why people continue to stay friends with me when I know I can be a horrid person sometimes- most of the time.

26. I am jealous of all those younger than me

27. I really do think Im pretty (well, from the neck up) and I know many people think its a backwards reverse psychology thing, but it's not. And I think that is a rare thing especially for a woman.

28. I really do like being a light weight. I know Im from New Orleans and I should be able to drink anyone under the table, but I can't and I like it that way.

29. I dont think that Im as creative as I portray.

30. I love to sneeze. It's a great feeling.

31. I have a terrible case of out-of-sight; out-of-mind with just about everything. . people, clothes, shoes. . . .

32. I secretly hope every man who I have ever liked still pines for me, no matter who he is or who he is currently with.

33. It doesn't really take me that long to get ready. I can be ready in 20 minutes flat, 30-40 with a shower, but I am much too lazy and would rather get distracted.

34. I am only as ME as I am allowed to be. (i.e. insert materialistic, whiny, annoying, etc.) and trust me I will test the waters every time, but I will try not to over step.

35. I love people who call me out on my shit. It's infuriating but at the same time, I respect them so much more. I could never fall in love with someone who constantly appeased me.


And I can't go anymore. . . Im tired.

I think my head is exploding.

It has been awhile since I needed BC powder and Orange Gatorade in the morning. . . that should tell you right there what kind of night I had.

I swear I work

Is it just me or does this myspace page make you want to have an epileptic seizure?

And because my last post sparked my friend to call me "The Ice Princess of Iceland" and being the whiny Queen that he is, he trumps me. . . .

The Flight Attendant

The plane's cabin was being served by an obviously gay
flight attendant who was just as obviously enjoying
himself. He came swishing down the aisle and announced
to the passengers,"Captain Marvey has asked me to
announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane
shortly, lovely people, so if you could just
put up your trays that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a woman
hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over
those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-
poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

She calmly turned her head and said,
"In my country, I am called a Princess.
I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a
beat, "Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a
Queen, so I outrank you. Put the tray up NOW."

and I wonder why people continue to love me.

FRIEND: Guess who has a date tonight!
NQ: ugh. you?
FRIEND: Yeah
NQ: [name has been deleted for privacy]?
FRIEND: Of course
FRIEND: His idea
NQ: hehe. . .see? you didnt scare him off
FRIEND: Not at all apparently
FRIEND: As long as he isn't looking for one thing
FRIEND: and thinks I am easy after Saturday night
NQ: oh wutever and if so- you should be complaining. at least you'd be getting some
FRIEND: Well you know I don't want JUST that
NQ: you're such a whiny queen with that crap
FRIEND: Excuse me?
NQ: you’re complaining.
NQ: like a 12 yr old
NQ: girl
NQ: :p
FRIEND: Because I don't want to Ho it up, I am a whiny 12 year old girl?
NQ: Im saying CALM DOWN. you will settle down one day and if its not with [name has been deleted for privacy], oh well. The right person will come along. quit trying to rush the rest of your life
FRIEND: I know, I know, I know
FRIEND: I am trying
NQ: and THAT is what I meant by the whiny 12 yr old girl.
FRIEND: I am actually more concerned about my reputation and his intent
NQ: reputation?
NQ: Is this the 1800s? seriously?
FRIEND: Fuck off and die
NQ: Maybe you should consider hiring a chaperone? They have those still right?
NQ: :-)
FRIEND: Maybe you should consider hiring another Therapist
FRIEND: I miss [my old therapist’s name here]
FRIEND: You used to be a bit nicer

improv- a time and a place.

So, as I read blogs and avoid work, I of course find this entertaining yet extremely disturbing video and I realize I never documented MY experience in Grand Central, which has now scarred me for life and I cannot believe I had forgotten.

So for your viewing enjoyment:
Me, The Duffel Bag and Grand Central.

Because I am a stubborn stubborn stupid woman, I decided I was not going to spend the holidays in New Orleans with my family, but that is neither here nor there. The point is I spent Christmas in Connecticut with family friends. And in order to get there I had to take The Metro North which is out of Grand Central. And let me just tell you, being in the middle of one of the busiest places in the world on one of the busiest traveling days of the year gives a whole new meaning to "Grand Central Station".

So, there I am, it's Christmas Eve and I am in a recockulously long line waiting to get my ticket. And in these extremely nervous moments (because I have never ridden a real train before and I hoped to god I was in the right line, I hoped I'd buy the right ticket because knowing me I would buy a ticket to East Jesusland and not know the difference and I hoped I was going to get on the right train because lord knows this place is HUGE, etc.) I notice two very large duffel bags in the middle of the floor unattended. My first reaction as a human being was whatever. They'll be back. But as I stood there, the longer they went unattended the wilder my vivid imagination ran.

I began to sweat. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Who was I supposed to alert? And did I really want to get out of line? I looked behind me, and the line had tripled since I have gotten there. My train was set to leave in 20 minutes, did I really want to risk it? (Yes, I am highly aware I am NOT the poster child for the See something, Say something campaign.)

So then my thoughts move on as I continue to look at the bags, look away for a second and then look back praying to Allah someone would come claim them. I continue to do this for a good 10 minutes (ok it was like 1 or 2, but it felt like forever in my crazy mind). Like, what the hell would I do if it exploded? Well, I wouldn't have time to do a damn thing but soil my leggings and burn being this close. Did dying hurt? Hopefully I wouldn't feel anything. My remains probably wouldn't be identifiable and how was my mother going to know I was even there? I mean, I guess people would figure it out eventually but I hadn't even updated my will (which is totally not a legit will. When I was younger, every time I would get on a plane I would allot all my things out in case it crashed. Optimistic, I know) because who would have thought a terrorist would be so evil to blow up Grand Central on a holiday? Wait. Did those kinds of people even celebrate Baby Jesus' birth?

Then a man walks up to it with a few ladies in tow. Obviously the owner of the suspicious bags went to find his family. They begin to unload their bags into the pile. This should have eased my concern, but alas it didn't. The family happened to be terrorist looking (ok. I'm allowed to say this. I am from middle eastern decent and I wasn't being prejudice for chrissake. I just had multiple mini-heart attacks over this and to have Mohammad and family show up, scared the shit out of me even more).

As I continue to watch, I see he has something black in his hand (a DETONATOR!!! my vivid imagination screamed) and he was pointing to the bags. My effin heart stopped. O. my. god. He was going to blow up all of us, including what looked like his mother, wife and children- but then again didn't their insane religion believe in that kind of stuff? Killing innocent people, including the woman who gave birth to you? I was certain I was going to die. I closed my eyes and waited for the blow. This was it. My life sucked and it was ending right then and I hadn't had good sex in months.

I slowly opened one eye and fought the urge to feel if my body was in one piece (like I was the crazy one). Yea. It was a cell phone and I'm an ass and I made it to Connecticut in one piece but I assure you, I am missing a few years of my life.

So, as entertaining as it might be for these asshat theater people to stage something like this- my blood pressure and therapist would greatly appreciate if you would continue your personal jackassery elsewhere. Like a mall:

my two favorite topics!

Religion and Politics.

That's the great thing about New York. If you missed church on Sunday, if you're lucky enough someone will preach to you in the subway. This morning's sermon, in case you weren't on the downtown A train, was quite disturbing including "Everyone DIES. 14,000 people die everyday. . .people just like us in this cramped subway car" and a few misquotes from Relevations. Needless to say, Im glad I got to work this morning. Somewhere between 81st and 59th, I wasn't so sure.


And the hot topic on every New Yorker's lips seems to be this scandal. This is not news to the native New Orleanian, where we are the capital of corrupt sex scandals. Move on, people. I rate this one a big fat DUH!

And while we are on the subject of politics, why couldn't the English send all their outlaws and criminals to American and their prudes to Australia? This was a great email (which by the way I am aware that it is a combined effort of the former prime minister and an Air Force vet)

We need a Leader Like This!

Prime Minister John Howard - Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia , as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques. Quote: 'IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali , we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.'

'This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom'

'We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society . Learn the language!'

'Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.'

'We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us.'

'This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,

'THE RIGHT TO LEAVE'.'

'If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted.'

Maybe if we circulate this amongst ourselves, American citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths.

Yea it's old but it is part- accurate.

Verdict

I went. I had fun. Met some fabulous new people. YaY! for being adventurous even though it was at the ends of the earth and the A train wasnt running so I had to take the 1 and there were no subways near the apartment (which I totally dont get about living downtown. You might be able to say you live in Tribeca or The Lower East Side but you also had to walk avenues to get to a subway whereas mine is 20 steps away from my apartment AND you can fit your entire apartment in my bedroom. The pretencion of this city continues to baffle me) and the wind was so tragic it literally blew down a few streets.

On the train ride back, there was a handicapped vet in a wheelchair. He proceeded to want to get through to the other end of the train, interrupting my reading and forcing me to basically put my legs in the air to pass (I wasnt assumed. I was wearing a skirt for chrissake!). I looked up and a very attractive male was smiling at me over the absurdity of the situation. I was so ready to have a lovely conversation with the stranger, exchange numbers and tell this entertaining story of how we met to our grandchildren. . . then he started meowing.